How Long?
by ThexWall
Summary: When everything is changing, how long do you have before it falls apart? Starting over is the easy part, its the future that burns the worst. Nessie/Jake fan fiction, rated Mature for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I take no credit for any characters and what not; this story is just for fun. I also do not own the quotes in the beginning each chapter unless specified otherwise.

Authors note: The first couple chapters may be a bit light, but I really hope to get into some heavier stuff later on with Jacob and Neisse's relationship as well as some dark elements lingering in their future. This was an old fic I started and abandoned and I hope to use the summer to really develop this story, I also chose to really rearrange Renesmee Character, I had her as this sweet innocent child like girl, but I really wanted to add some dimension, I wanted her to be reserved, deep and artistic, and a little sarcastic and witty, so enjoy! Reviews and ideas are also really appreciated and taken fully into account. I will try my darnedest to update weekly.

Chapter One

"Because I could not stop for Death

He kindly stopped for me

The Carriage held but just ourselves

and Immortality"

_Because I Could Not Stop for Death, By Emily Dickinson_

If a genie suddenly popped out of my cup of coffee and offered to grant me with one wish, I would hands down ask for the ability to be a "morning person". I hate mornings, in case you haven't gathered that little tid-bit. Usually they go kind of like this,

Step one: Hit snooze button 3-9 times

Step two: Finally surrender to the angry alarm clock gods.

Step three: Find Coffee, find good book

Step four: Utilize all tactics possible to sneak back to bed.

Step Five: Repeat all steps if needed

Now I would imagine that morning would be a lot better for me if I got more than a couple hours of sleep every night. That of course is kind of hard when you live in a house full of vampires who don't sleep. To their defense, they try to keep quiet but thanks to my inhuman senses, their efforts are kind of worthless. I'm usually not this grumpy, but this particular morning really sucks.

Pretty recently my family and I moved from Forks, Washington to Barrow, Alaska. I was quite content to stay under wraps in Forks; I was being homeschooled by my Dad and I had my best friend in the world and boyfriend supremo always close by, but my family decided that it was time that I experienced high school and that we might as well all start over before we raise any flags. Which leads me to why I am now sitting here desperately wanting to dive into my cup of coffee and take a nap instead of heading off to Mt. Burrow High.

"Neisse, stop day dreaming and get dressed! I refuse to be late because of you!" Aunt Alice snapped. Even though she stood at my side, tapping her foot, excitement washed over her, covering almost all traces of impatience.

"Is all this really necessary? I mean I'm never going to be able to keep this story straight" I whined back at her.

Oh right the story. Upon entering any new location, Grandpa Carlisle had explained that there needed to be creditability, an established structure to follow, something believable and fluid. Usually my family paired off. Sometimes they were siblings, sometime new to the family all together, but there was always a story. So ours was established, my father and I are playing the role of twins, we spent most of our life in foster care, never knowing our real parents. We were adopted by the Cullen's 4 years ago and have been living happily ever after since. Rosalie was born of Carlisle and Esme, and perfectly understanding of the new family additions. Emmet and Alice, and Mom were from the same foster home in Michigan and have been living with the Cullen's for 6 years. Finally, Jasper's is the newest addition, just recently joining the family from Charleston, Virginia. Now if I can actually keep from calling my mom by "mommy" in public, it will be a good day.

"You're so much like your mother. This should be exciting for you, you're starting a new school in a new place and all you can do is mope". Alice said in an exasperated voice. I batted my eyelashes as I hopped off the picture windowsill, jogging to my room to get dressed. I would of needed way more coffee to of had the energy to put up a fight, so defeated I put on the cloths that Aunt Alice laid out on the bed.

"We'll meet you outside in ten!" I heard my mom call from downstairs. _I really wish Jacob was here…_ I thought to myself as I pulled my shirt over my head. As soon as I thought about it, I immediately felt guilty. Jacob was all set to come along with us and play in the charade we have going, but his Father recently got very ill after having a bad stroke, and so Jake stayed behind to take care of him.

_ I should call him_, I thought to myself. With this much distance between us, it was always the best way to get in touch with him. When we are together we have this freaky telepathic communication ability, but seeing as how I'm in a different state, that would prove itself to be quite difficult. I rushed to finish getting ready then plopped down on my bed and flipped open my phone.

Jacob picked up on the second ring. "Hey baby" he said, his deep voice felt like it made the phone vibrate against my ear and accelerated my heart. I instantly felt better, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I suddenly felt silly and immature for my childish morning mood.

"Hey, how are things going?" I asked, trying to sound casual, not quite able to bring myself to asking about Billy's condition. I knew it wasn't good.

"They are ok." He said, sounding a little detached. I hated hearing the pain in his voice. I know how close he was to his father. I loved Billy so much. He was like another dad to me, and the thought of losing him was almost too much to handle.

"Well that's good" I said, trying to sound casual, but you could clearly hear that I was upset. "Don't worry Ness, were all fine here. Hey, I think I'm going to try to come up some time tomorrow." He said, trying his best to reassure me.

"No no, stay. They need you home right now. I'll ask my parents if I can run down later." I told him. Another perk to my lovely genetics was in ridiculous my speed and stamina. I could probably make the trip in a little less than four hours.

"No its cool Ness, I'm sure I can get away for a little bit. I really need to see you" he said, sounding a little rushed, like he was hiding something or desperately wanted to change the subject.

"It's no big deal. I'll just ask my mom, I'm sure she will understand" I told him.

"Really Renesmee" He interrupted I'll just come to you, I could really use the run." He replied, I could tell that he was really hoping I would just agree to that arrangement.

"Ok if you're sure you don't mind." I said over the obnoxious honking coming from outside.

"Not at all, sounds like you got to go so I'll see you tomorrow. Love you, bye" he said, hanging up the phone. _Well that was weird…he must be really upset…_ I thought as I grabbed my backpack and headed down the stairs.

"About time" Aunt Rosalie said, sounding kind of annoyed. I climbed in the back seat of her shiny red convertible. "Talk about subtle" I murmured under my breath as we pulled away.

"Glad to see you're in a better mood" she said sarcastically. "We should have made you ride with Jasper"

"I'm sorry, I should appreciate all you guys are doing for me, packing up and moving just so I can have a shot at normality. It's just that it's so hard to be so far away from everything that's going on back home" I whispered apologetically.

Emmet reached back and squeezed my shoulder. "It will be ok Nessie. And by the way, you are nowhere near as moody as your dad can be" he said. I laughed, feeling a little better.

The ride to school took a little longer than I thought it would. Regardless of my Aunts insane pace, the ride took about 15 minutes. When we finally pulled up I felt butterflies in the pit of my stomached. Not the nervous kind though, I guess I was actually excited. I was finally going to go to normal school with normal human kids. Even my friends back home all consisted of shape shifters and their girl friends. That thought made my head sting and my heart ache a little. Saying goodbye to my best friend Leah and her brother Seth had been the hardest. Though they promised that we would see each other all the time, it was still really hard to grasp the concept that they weren't going to be so close anymore. Even though our new house was breathtaking, and the town of Burrow was full of lush forests and beautiful coastline scenery, I still felt homesick. I knew that throughout my life I would see many places come and go, but I knew that none of them would ever be as special to me as Forks and the people I left behind.

Aunt Rose pulling me from the car brought me back to reality. I took a deep breath a looked around. It really didn't look that much different than any other high school. Though, I only had TV and books to compare. My parents got out of their car and walked towards me holding hands.

"I know it seems scary but you'll be fine" my mom said, hugging me quickly.

"I took the liberty of making sure that at least of will be joining you in your classes" my dad said gesturing towards the rest of my family that were leaning against my dad's car. Good old over protective father.

"Err, thanks da- I mean brother" I said grinning like a total nerd. Maybe this will be more fun than I thought. "But really you don't have to do that, I'm sure I'll be fine, and beside I'm kind of excited to branch out and try things on my own" I told him

"Of course you are sweetheart. If things go well I'm sure we can move our schedules around." My mother said, still holding my father's hand. If things go well, meaning if I could control my instincts and not start eating people. I never really had that much of a problem controlling myself, but sometimes now and then, large crowds tend to be a little overwhelming, which is all the more reason I need Jacob, after all he is my favorite hunting partner.

"Don't look now, but people are already starting to stare" Aunt Rose said, sounding a little smug.

"I guess we should get inside before the bell rings, don't want to be late on our first day" Alice replied cheerfully.

I watched as my family pared off in twos and made their way inside. Suddenly, I was aware of how lonely I felt, maybe even scared. The one person I needed more than anything could not be here. Instantly I felt guilty, I knew the reasons for our separation, so with that I called upon my favorite Sylvia Plath quote to give me the courage to walk through the doors. "I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart; I am. I am. I am"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I take no credit for any characters and what not; this story is just for fun. I also do not own the quote in the beginning of the chapter.

Authors Note: First off, thanks your reading on! This chapter contains a little too much normality for my taste, but the good stuff will be coming soon! Normally I will only update once a week or so, but I figured because the story is new and only has one chapter, i might as well upload an other one. Again, thanks so much for reading.

Chapter Two

"Has our conscience gone?

Has the sweet breeze blown?

Has all the kindness gone?

Hope still lingers on."

Ed Roland of Collective Soul

The school was like something right out of a sitcom from MTV. Kids in groups, glaring at other kids in different groups, stark white walls plastered with posters on upcoming events and clubs, and the occasional framed picture with a basketball and some kind of inspiration quote. I tried mostly to keep out of everyone way, but it's kind of hard when you're the focus of attention.

Alice was in my homeroom class and she was quick to come up with answers to the questions that the other kids bombarded us with. With how gossip works, the whole school should be filled in with our story by lunch. Hopefully now I could avoid an interrogation in every class. They students that weren't crowing around my desk were busy reuniting with old friends that they missed during the summer. Some boys were making a chart of the hottest girls and talked about the vulgar things that they wanted to do with them. I saw Alice tense a bit and then realized that she and I had just made a top spot on their list. Great.

"Oh the joys of pubescent school children" she mumbled under her breath so low that I knew only I could hear. I laughed along with her.

"I wonder how Rose is holding up" I said sarcastically.

The attention of the classroom suddenly turned from us to the frazzled teacher stumbling in the room. Her arms were full of papers and folders that drop onto the desk with a thud as the students slowly filtered into their seats.

"My name is Ms. Carol, if everyone can please give me your attention." She requested. "As I call your name please come up and get your locker assignments and class schedules"

Names were called in alphabetical order by last name. When the teacher hesitated and struggled with my name I felt a nervous ping in my gut. For some reason the idea of being in front of all these strangers scared me, I mean I'm turning into a whimpering mess. Reluctantly I walked up to the front and got my paper then rushed back to my seat avoiding any eye contact with anyone. Before I could even look at my schedule Alice had snatched it out of my hand.

"What? This can't be right" she said, looking at the paper in total disgust. "Your locker is all the way at the other end of the school; I just assumed it would be near mine"

"Well maybe I'll be close to someone else in the family" I said, clearly disappointed. She marched up with the teacher to confront her about the locker situation.

"I'm sorry but this is the locker that has been assigned, there is nothing I can do" I heard Ms. Carol say, but before she could finish her sentence Alice has turned and skulked back to her desk beside me.

"This is so unbelievable! Your locker is in the total boondocks! It's not even remotely close to any of your classes. I wonder what everyone else got" she said while taking out her phone to text.

The teacher rambled on about how homeroom was a time for work not play and I really hoped the rest of the day wasn't this boring. I was really anxious to find out what Jacobs schedule would be; hopefully we would have at least one class together. Finally, the bell rang and the teacher dismissed us. I met up with Jasper and my Dad and headed off to my American History class. Some girl's eyes just about popped out of her head when she saw my dad enter the room. As gross as it was it made me laugh when someone said "I bet they are a couple, this is just so unfair". My dad could not only hear what they were saying, but also hear their thoughts, but I guess he was use to hormonal teenagers. I sat between my dad and Jasper in the back row and watched as our teacher hobbled in. He was a short, stumpy man with thick rimmed glasses and an even thicker beard. His eyes scanned over the whole class, his mouth set in what appeared to be a permanent frown. When his eyes got to me I noticed he lingered a little bit. I didn't think anything of it until I saw my dad tense and turn the pencil he was holding into dust. Luckily Jasper was there to calm him down. I about a minute later he excused himself and stalked out of the classroom.

"What was all that about?" I whispered to my uncle. He chuckled softly and shook his head.

"He is just having a hard time coming to terms with the fact then men are going to notice you" he replied. I looked at the teacher and shuddered. _Gross… _There was only one man in the world that I wanted to notice me in that way.

The rest of history class was pretty dull. It was mostly about the rules and expectations of class, homework, projects, blah blah blah. I was relieved when the bell finally rang. Jasper grabbed my book bag and followed me out to the hall, where I was instantly greeted by my father.

"Where did you go?" I asked him.

"Your schedule has been changed; you're now taking English Literature during this block and History during forth block with Mrs. Benson. They say she is quite nice" My dad told me. I could see Jasper rolling his eyes.

"Umm ok, thanks for letting me know" I replied wearily.

We said goodbye as the three of us set off to find our next class. I had asked that they all kind of stay back and let me figure things out on my own, but now I was really regretting it. The rest of my family has all done high school at least once before, they moved through the halls with such confidence and fluidity, as if they had been going to this school for years. Maybe it was because they had each other to distract them from the horrors of high school, or maybe they just didn't care enough about the school and students. Not to seem harsh, but our world is so separate, so serious. It's like the entire existence revolves around that one person, and I knew the feeling all too well... Without that person here, I felt like I was buried under the ruble. There are so many emotions and senses, and nothing here to hoist the beams.

Needing to snap out of the mood I knew I was putting myself in I decided to find my locker. After ten minutes of twisting hallways and a couple flights up and down stairs, I finally found it. Alice was right, it was in the boondocks. It was the very back of the school, it a small hallway with poor lighting and lockers on both sides of the wall. I was suddenly very grateful to be alone in the hall, until I heard the separated sigh behind me. I turned to see a girl with juggling a stack of books behind me.

"How the hell did I end up with a locker all the way in the back?" she asked me.

"Umm…I don't know" I said awkwardly. Wow way to be cool Nessie. "But mine is here to if it makes you feel any better." I replied.

"Well at least I'm not the only one back here, I'm Samantha" She said extending her hand for me to shake.

"Nessie" I said, immediately wishing I didn't, but instead of giving me a weird look she just laughed and said cool. In that moment i decided I liked Samantha. She was beautiful but in in a natural way. She wore no make up, and her cloths were nothing special, but still there was something about her that shined through the blandness.

After finally getting our lockers together we walked together to our classes. We exchanged numbers before we parted and promised to save each other seats at lunch. I couldn't believe it, I had actually conversed with a real human.

The rest of the day was pretty unexciting. I had gym with my mom, (which was pretty cool) Algebra and Functions with Alice, and English with Jasper and mom. Rose and Emmett were supposed to be a grade higher so we didn't have any classes, but I managed to see them in the halls. I surprised my family at lunch when I brought Samantha right over to sit with us. My dad smiled at me, happy to see how well I was getting along. I met some different people and they all seemed nice, but I couldn't help but be cautious. I just really couldn't wait to get home. The sooner today was over, the sooner it would be tomorrow, which means the sooner I would get to see Jacob. When the final bell rang I just about bounded out to the parking lot. Emmet and Rose were already waiting by the car. I walked up and Emmet gave me a playful punch on the shoulder.

"How did you first day go?" he asked with a huge grin on his face.

"It was pretty cool" I shrugged.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it" my mom said coming up and hugging me. "Maybe you can shed some light on why your father was so upset earlier" she added. "Hmm, not really sure. Ask Jasper" I told her.

They rest of my family showed up and we got in our cars and headed towards the house.

As soon as I was home I ran upstairs and threw my bag on the floor. I wiggled my feet out of my sneakers and plopped down on my insanely plush bed, and dialed my phone. I got Jake's voice mail and left him a quick message hoping his day was going well. I felt so guilty for leaving home with all this going on. Here poor Jacob is dealing with all this on his own. Suddenly a voice made me jump.

"I can feel how worried you are" Uncle Jasper said, leaning on the door frame.

I mumbled sorry to him, feeling guilty for dragging him down into my problems.

"I can feel guilt to you know" he said smiling a little. "Jacob is strong Renesmee. He will get through this. The only thing you can do right now is be there when her need you, even when he acts like he doesn't."

"Your right, he is strong, but still it can't be easy feeling so helpless why the person you love is wasting away" I told him.

"Humans live on borrowed time Renesmee. It is something that you will come to be very familiar with. It is an unfortunate way of life for them" he said trying to reassure me. Though I loved Emmet with all my heart, uncle Jasper was by far my favorite uncle. I could relate to the struggles he went thought every day, and I felt like I really connected with him, and could tell him everything. I got off my bed and walked towards him. Using my gift, I put my hands on his face and showed him the love that I had for Jacob.

"I know how much you love him, and he knows that too Renesmee" he said kissing my forehead. "Things are bad now, but it will pass, I promise" he said before walking off and disappearing down the hall, leaving me alone with an overwhelming sense of ease.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I mean nothing; I take no credit for any characters. This story is just for fun. I do not own the quote at the beginning of the chapter.

Authors Note: Sorry that this chapter is so short, it just deals with a lot of heavy stuff, so I didn't really want to cloud that up with a bunch of filler. Thank you so much for reading reviews are greatly appreciated

Chapter Three

"There are thieves, who rob us blind,  
and kings, who kill us fine,  
but steady, the rights and the wrongs  
invade us, as innocent song.  
I'm not ready, I'm not ready  
For the weight of us"

The Weight of Us-Sanders Bohlke

Waking up the next morning wasn't so bad. The sooner I got the day over with the sooner I could come home and see Jacob. I got dressed without a single complaint of my lack of self choice.

"What's got you in such a good mood this morning?" Alice asked as we walked out to the garage.

"She must be excited that Jake is coming. Nessie's finally gonna get some!" Emmett teased.

Oh course my father didn't find it as funny as he did. He about ripped the car door off as he leapt out of his Volvo.

"Of my goddd, please tell him you're just kidding!" I shouted hysterically at my laughing uncle.

"Ok , ok relax Ed, you know she's a good kid, I was just joking, shit man." he said putting his hand on my dad's shoulder, only to have him brush it off as he stormed back into his car and sped away. "Thanks" I said sarcastically.

Of course because I was so excited to get home, school went painfully slow. I was so zoned out that I barely remember going. It wasn't until we pulled in the driveway that I came back to reality.

There he was, my favorite person in the world, sitting on my porch with a huge cheesy grin. My heart beat quickened as my head swayed. It was like a magnetic pull, stretching and pulling at my bones. I felt warmth inside of my body, like every care, every worry was lifted off my body. The universe finally aligned and he was the center.

I was out of the car before it was even stopped. I sprinted towards him, practically knocking him over as I jumped into his arms and hugged him with all my strength. He started to say something along the line of "I missed you too" but I cut him off with an overly passionate kiss. I felt like I could crawl into his mouth. I put my hands to his face and used my gift to show him all the ways I loved him. Not just memories, but colors and textures, and emotions that I cannot even describe. Usually I keep it pretty PG with my parents in such close range, but I was so desperate to be as close to him as possible, I really couldn't gather enough modesty to care. Kissing Jacob was amazing. Everything from his taste to his smell, or the way his hands send little tingles of heat where ever they lingered. I mean, I don't exactly have anything to compare it too, but I'm pretty sure that no one could ever make me feel as good as he does.

"You two better cool it, your dad is going to be home in like a second" Alice called from the front door. Reluctantly I unwrapped myself from his body and drug him upstairs to my room where we could finish what I started. I locked my door (not that it mattered. If anyone wanted in that badly they could just break it down) and walked toward him, but he put his hands up and stopped me.

"Ness, we need to talk" he said, his voice low and cautious. I couldn't believe it, how can I be so selfish? I was so caught up in my own feelings that I almost forgot about everything happening back in Forks.

I didn't say anything; I just waited for him to start. He pulled me over to sit on the bed next to him.

"I feel kind of bad about the other day, for cutting you off on the phone like that. I know you miss home and your friends and everything" he said, taking a deep breath.

"It's ok really. As long as I get to see you" I told him, putting my hands to his face and showing him how happy I was when I saw him earlier sitting on the porch. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"It's just my dad really isn't doing well. I really didn't want you to see him like that. I want you to remember him the way he was" he said quietly. I couldn't speak. I couldn't believe what he was telling me. We could not be having this conversation. Billy could not be dying, he could never be _that sick._ Sadness, horrible stinging sadness rippled over me, taking the breath right out of my lungs. Jacob was a statue at my side, completely silent. I felt alone in my room, just me and my heartbeat.

I had to say goodbye. I would never forgive myself if I didn't.

"Jake, what are you telling me?" I whispered. I could already feel the tears hot against my cheek. Jacob didn't look at me as he spoke. He was trying to be strong, to hold it together.

"He doesn't have much time, the doctor said he could go as soon as next week" he said, dropping his head so it hung slack from his massive shoulders, his shoulder length hair casting a dark curtain over his face.

"No..." I stammered, my voice shaking as badly as my body. "I-I have to see him…I have to say goodbye".

"I really don't think that's a good idea, it's not a pretty picture. Besides he won't even remember you, he's really not Billy at this point. I feel like his sprit is long gone, we are just waiting on his body to go" he told me, his voice sounding a little less sturdy.

When I heard the uncertainly in his voice, I lost it. Sadness, horrible stinging sadness rippled over me, taking the breath right out of my lungs. Jacob was a statue at my side, completely silent. I felt alone in my room, just me and my heartbeat. He pulled me into his arms and rocked me back and forth until I calmed down, then he whipped the rest of the tears off my face. Jacobs strength had always amazed me, but now I see that it is not just physical, but emotional. He was so sturdy, so collected, I don't know how he managed it but he did. He was truly my rock, the one thing in the world I knew I could always lean on, but I wanted so much for him to be able to lean on me to. His father is dying, and here he is comforting me. Just then there was a knock on the door, pulling me out of my guilt. It was my Grandmother Esme.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but If possible I would like to show Jacob his house before he has to leave" she called through the door. I looked up at Jacob, not knowing what to do. He smiled down at me and brushed a piece of hair out of my face.

"Sure we'll be right down" he answered her.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I take no credit for any characters and what not; this story is just for fun.

Chapter Four

Jacobs's house was just a five minute run north of our house. It was a beautifully rustic timber frame house with a big porch. We held hands as Grandma Esme lead us on a tour. I had been so excited early to show him his house, but now I felt too small to really care. He seemed to really like it, which of course made Esme beam in excitement. The house really was beautiful and she did an amazing job of mixing rustic interior with modern furniture. It all seemed to flow together perfectly.

"Well, I will give you some time alone to look around, I will see you back home later" she said. Jacob thanked her and she went on her way.

"Come on Ness, cheer up. We have go this whole house to ourselves" he said, a big grin spreading a crossed his face, bending down and closing the distance between our lips. I kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his next and knotting my fingers in his thick hair. He scooped me up in his arms so he wouldn't have to bend down so far, and then plopped me down on the couch. His mouth was hard and rough on mine; the kiss was kind of intimidating. Usually whenever things get this intense between us, he pushed me away and mumbles something about me not being ready or Ed was going to kill him. It wasn't until I felt his warm hand snake behind my back and fumble with the clasp of my bra that I knew something was wrong. I would have loved to keep going; in fact I wanted to be with him more than anything, but now, not like this, with so much sadness lingering, so much pain to soon be faced. I struggled to push him off but he caught my hands and pulled them above my head, deepening the kiss even father.

"Come on Jake, cool it." I said as I wiggled free. His face instantly turned to a scowl as he got off the couch and stormed into the kitchen.

"Jake, what the hell?" I demanded, following him.

"Nothing, just forget everything." He growled.

"Come on Jacob, do you really thing now is a good time to be doing _that_?" I asked him.

"Well why not?" he shouted. "The world doesn't have to come to an end just because my dad is going to dead soon. You know this is really fucked up. I deal with so much shit at home, and I finally get to come up here and get away, and now I just have to deal with even more of it" he said, the anger in his voice actually made my chest ache.

"I don't want you to regret something just because you're not thinking right" I told him quietly, not able to bring myself to meet his eyes. I really didn't want him to see that I was about to cry. I usually takes a lot to make me cry, but something about Jake hits a nerve and makes me an over sensitive little girl and the last thing I wanted was for him to feel guilty.

"My thinking is fine Renesmee" he growled. "The only thing I regret right now is coming up here". His words stung, badly. It was all I could do not to break down. Somewhere inside I knew that this wasn't _my Jacob._ I knew that somehow this had to do with all the he was dealing with. He had never been the best at dealing with his emotions; he holds things inside until they come out all wrong, and at the wrong people. But still, the way he said it made me feel like I was going to break in half.

"I'm sorry" I squeaked out, wanting so badly not to cry. He pauses for a couple of heart beats, closing his eyes, holding his breath.

"God, Renesmee I'm sorry. I shouldn't be taking this out on you. You have nothing to do with this, do you understand?" he asked, holding my face with his hands. I nodded before he hugged me tightly to his chest, mumbling "sorry" over and over. I pulled away, feeling guilty again for upsetting him.

"You don't have to be sorry, I understand. Can we start over?"

"Ok" he smiled, but it didn't really reach his eyes.

"How long can you stay?" I asked trying to get on a new subject. "I figured I would head home when you leave for school tomorrow" he said lightly. "So you're staying the night?" I asked, making no attempt to hide my excitement. He nodded "If it's cool with you".

"Of course it is, My parents might let us stay here, of course you'll will have take a blood oath that you'll keep a two hundred yard distance at all time" I joked. My parents were usually pretty trusting of me and Jake. Ok, rephrase that, my mom is usually pretty cool. Luckily for me she pretty good at convincing my father to relax. We had even gained enough trust to sleep in the same bed. Of course when you have super sensitive hearing it's pretty easy to monitor me.

Jake started to make us some food while I called my mom and asked if it would be ok if we stayed here. Like the amazing and trusting mother she is, she didn't have a problem. I'm really grateful with the relationship I have with my mother. I can tell her everything. Ok almost everything. I'm not sure if she would be ok with the fact that I really wanted to take a huge step in my physical relationship with Jake. I mean sure technically I'm only about seven, but physically I'm like sixteen and mentally I'm even older.

"I got the ok from the parentals "I said, hopping up to sit on the counter.

"Sweet" he mumbled next to my ear, coming up to stand between my legs. I'm not sure how long we spent kissing. It wasn't until I smelt the eggs burning that I managed to untwine my fingers from his hair. One thing about Jacob wardrobe choice was that it really didn't leave much room for interpretation. I mean sweat pants aren't always the best thing to hide your downward emotions. Luckily, Jake was far from modest and that spared us a lot of awkward moments, besides I'm pretty sure he could tell just as easily when I was turned on, which I seemed to be doing a lot of lately.

"Your food is going to burn" I told him, a little breathless. His lips left kisses down my neck and onto my collar bone, nipping lightly with his teeth along the way, pushing himself harder against me, causing me to let out a little moan. I momentarily considered if my parents would be able to hear us from this distance, and if they could I wondered how far we could get before they broke down the door and ripped Jake's head off. Jacob must have sensed my hesitation because he pulled away.

"Sorry" I mumbled, feeling hopelessly embarrassed. He laughed, obviously aware of how red my cheeks are. I really hoped I had enough will power to make it though. Then again, I kind of wish I didn't.

The cable wasn't hooked up yet so after we ate we weren't really sure what to do to entertain ourselves. Of course I had a few ideas that I decided to keep to myself. I didn't want things to go any farther tonight, and if we kept up with what we were doing earlier I don't know if I will be able to resist. So here we are, awkwardly sitting in his living room. Him on the leather couch, me in the arm chair.

"So…" He said while drumming his hands on his knees.

"This is ridiculous" I laughed. "We used to be best friends, just friends, and we always found ways to entertain ourselves before sexual tension reared its ugly head, what cant we find something to do now?"

"Nessie you were like 5, I could of dangled car keys in your face to entertain you"

"Oh shut up" I said, tossing a throw pillow at him which he of course caught and threw right back at me. "We can play cards" I told him.

"No way, no games. You always win and I just don't think my ego can take it." He said with mock despair, using his massive arm to shield his eyes and he threw back his head.

"Well that is only because you let me win Jacob Black." I laughed. "Well we can go for a walk"

"Ok sure but not for too long, you have school tomorrow missy" he grinned.

Even in August the air outside was crisp, chilly. The smells of pine needles and forest reminded me of the way Forks smelled, except something was different and I just couldn't put my finger on it. All woods smell the same. Animals, trees, earth, never changing and always constant, but there was something extra here, and it felt almost electric in the night air. We walked hand in hand, Jacob smoothly navigating his way through the dark woods. I would have fell several times if I wasn't holding on to him. We were quiet, almost afraid to speak. I assumed he was just keeping to himself, thinking about his dad. It wasn't until he pushed me back with a growl and crouched down into a fighting stance that I knew something was wrong.

"Jacob what is it?" I whispered, fear fluttering around in my stomach, tightening like a noose around my neck, my heart instantly thudding in my ears.

"I smell something, I didn't know what it was before but it's so strong now…" he mumbled, almost to himself.

"What is it?" I asked, eyes straining in the darkness.

"I don't know. It just smells predatory. Not a vampire, definitely not human. Not an animal sent I recognize either. " he said. His voice low and collected, his body ready to defend.

The wind blew and my stomach rolled.

"Blood….. Jacob…I Smell lots of blood"


	5. Chapter 5

Authors Note: Hey all, I know I know, it's been forever since I updated! I'm sorry! All my horses just keep me super busy, but thanks so much to all of you guys who added my story to their favorites or update alerts. I will try my darndest to update once a week from now on. Thanks a ton for reading!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I take no credit for any characters and what not; this story is just for fun.

Chapter Five

"Out through the fields and the woods  
And over the walls I have wended;  
I have climbed the hills of view  
And looked at the world, and descended;  
I have come by the highway home,  
And lo, it is ended." Robert Frost

The trees flew past me in a blur of darkened hues and textures. I could barley manage to move my feet to match the speed that Jacob was pulling me at.

"Come on Nessie, Move" he said frantically, through clenched teeth. His grip on my wrist was actually painful.

"Jacob, we need to go back, we need to help who ever that was back there" I screamed, trying to pull him back into the woods but it was useless. He simple scooped me up and continued to run.

As soon as my house was in view, I could see my family bursting out of it. My dad was the first to reach us, grabbing me out of Jacob's arms and squeezing me so tight that it was hard to breath.

"Oh thank god you are alright. What the hell is going on?" My mother demanded to Jacob. Obviously they smelt the blood to. There was no mistaking the sweet, metallic smell of human blood and even though I had never tasted it myself, I knew exactly how it would taste, how it would smell and feel.

"Jasper and Emmett come with me, let's see if there is anything we can do" Carlisle said and in a heartbeat or two they were totally out of sight.

"Let's get her inside" my mother said, pulling me towards the house, but I didn't want her. I wanted to go back, I wanted to know what happened to the stranger in the woods. The rest of the family followed into the house, Esme was handing me a hot cup of tea before I was even in the door.

"Don't be scared Renesmee. Humans have accidents all the time, I'm sure that is all it is." Aunt Rose told me as she played with my hair. Jacob was pacing the house, obviously torn between staying here with me, or going back to find out what was going on. He stomped over and gave me a quick kiss on the check, and mumbled a distraught 'I love you' and raced out the front door. This wasn't his land, his territory to protect, but I knew that wouldn't stop him. I listened closely to the sounds of four legs pounding away and sunk back into the sofa. I was scared. For the first time in my life, I was really really scared. I was scared for what happened back in those woods, for that poor person, who was bleeding so much. With nothing else to do, I waited. I waited for what seemed like hours, and for all I know it could have been, soon I realized how tired I was and had a full out battle with my eye lids. I fought sleep off as hard as I could. I was halfway asleep on the couch when I heard footsteps approaching. Next thing I knew my dad was picking me up and carrying me to my room, humming the lullaby he wrote for me when I was a baby.

"Wait, what happened, what did you find?" I asked him, fighting sleep the best I could.

"Shhh" he whispered "We will talk about it tomorrow"

"Where is Jacob?" I asked as he sat me down on the bed. "Down stairs, I'm sure he will be up shortly. Now go to bed sweetheart, you school in the morning remember." He said just before kissing my forehead and ducking out of the room.

Oh course by now I'm wide awake, and dying to know what the hell was going on. I knew everyone was going to be talking about it downstairs, but the idea of tip toeing ninja style to overhear was idiotic when you live in a house full of vampires. My best chance was to use my inhuman hearing to try to pick up whatever I could. I got out of bed, being as quiet as I could, and lay down on the floor, pressing me ear to the cold wood.

I closed my eyes, steadying my breath, and let all the rest of the world go out from my body. I concentrated on what was going on downstairs, and no longer did I hear the hum of traffic in the distance, the steady sound of the creek outside. Those things didn't exist anymore. Nothing existed but the tiny room downstairs, and then I heard them. They were talking fast, probably as an effort to keep me from overhearing. I concentrated harder and their words became clear.

Carlisle was speaking, his voice calm and professional, like he has just examined a patient. "At first I thought maybe it was a bear or some kind of animal, judging by the way the body was mauled and partially consumed. The strange thing is an animal would have consumed the flesh first, perhaps leaving the organs all together. Through the body was badly mauled and dismembered, the only thing that seemed to be consumed was a few organs."

"There was no scent either" Emmet interjected. "At least one I recognized. I mean if this were an animal then we would have easily been able to identify it. Jacob and I ran miles trying to see if we could catch up with whatever it was, but we didn't find anything. No foot prints, sent trails, nothing."

"We need to get Nessie out of here, I don't want her here. Something ripped that poor human apart, and the fact that we have no clue what it was is really starting to piss me the fuck off." Jacobs's low voice was unmistakable when he was angry.

Mom was speaking softly now "As much as I agree about Renesmee's safety, we can't just pick her up and ship her around. We finally got some normality in her life-"

"Normality is not having something ripping people apart in her fucking neighborhood" Jacob interrupted, angrier now. "Maybe I should take her back to La Plush for awhile. We will be able to protect her there."

"No way I trust a bunch of dogs with my nieces life" Rosalie spat at him.

"Ok, ok that's enough everyone" Carlisle said, no doubt that Jasper was also using his ability to calm the situation.

"I just don't understand, why didn't I see it? How could I not of seen it?" Alice asked, mostly to herself.

"Well maybe whatever it is was just passing through. I think we should wait and see in anything else happens before we start making decisions" Jasper said, he voice so calm, as if he was talking about the weather.

"I agree" my father said "We will be able to keep Renesmee safe. We will have to make sure that someone is with her at all times, and if this doesn't blow over than we will make arrangements"

"I will call the guys back home and let them know I'm staying here for awhile" Jacob said, sounding disappointed. "I still think she is safer back home"

"This is her home now Jacob, she will be fine here. Your family needs you, you should go back. We will take good care of Renesmee, and I'll call you if anything changes" mom told him.

"Yeah, yeah Bella, you're wasting your breath. I'm not leaving her" Jacob said, obviously disregarding what was said. He should go home, this was stupid. Whatever this thing was made no threat to me, and I'm not exactly as disposable as a human. I'm so sick of everyone treating me like I'm made of glass, and the fact that Jacob is going to stay here and play protector while he misses priceless time with his father made me feel like total crap. It seems like no matter what I did, I managed to complicate everything. I didn't understand, that poor person in the woods was killed, left for dead in some unthinkable way, never to return to their family, so see the sun come up tomorrow, or laugh or cry. They were nothing now, they're like cut short by some sadistic turn of fate, and still the issue at hand was not preventing this from happening it again, it was making sure I wasn't eaten. I felt guilty, and sad, and tired. The last thing I heard them say before I climbed back into bed was the patrol schedule.

I was just about asleep when I heard someone open the door. Jacob's massive frame cast a shadow a crossed the dark room.

"Hey" I said, shielding my eyes from the bright light of the hallway. "Hey yourself" he answered as he walked over to the bed. I automatically scooted over and pulled back the covers for him to climb in but he just remained standing.

"I can't stay Ness, just wanted to say goodnight." When I didn't say anything he leaned down and kissed my forehead quickly before turning and heading for the door.

"Is anyone going to tell me what is going on?" I asked him right before he walked out.

"Go to bed Ness" he said without turning around, and then walked out.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: As usual. I own nothing and take no credit for anything, I'm lame. I also don't own the Neil Young song, even though I really, really wish I did.

Hi again, as promised here is the next chapter. I'm going to try to get some chapters built up, that way you're not always waiting for my lazy self to write them. In really cool, totally unrelated news, I officially have a published that wants to get a small book together with some of my poetry and I'm so excited about it. Anyway, this one is kind of short; I mostly wanted to save a bunch for the next chapter. So enjoy, and review, and all that other good stuff.

Chapter Six

"Lullabies, look in your eyes,  
Run around the same old town.  
Doesn't mean that much to me  
To mean that much to you.

I've been first and last

Look at how the time goes past.

But I'm all alone at last.

Rolling home to you"

-Neil Young, Old Man

I woke up the next morning without realizing I even fell asleep. I was suddenly angry. Angry for how Jake left last night, angry for everyone treating me like a child, angry for whatever the hell was going on, but mostly I was angry at the high pitch screech of my alarm clock. Coffee…right. Just get some coffee and then find out what the hell happened. I threw on an old sweatshirt and padded barefooted downstairs. Esme and mom were in the kitchen cooking, dad and Carlisle were watching the news in the den.

"Morning sweetheart" my mom said, looking up from the huge bowl of eggs she was mixing. "Coffee is on the pot" Grandma Esme told me. I gave them both a hug, got my coffee, and plopped down on the couch next to my dad with much more teenage angst than needed. Dad pulled me in for a silent hug and went back to reading the paper. Okay….so I guess no one was talking.

The news anchor on the TV's tone suddenly shifted. That classic switch from positive to tragic. "In other news a tragic discovery happened early this morning in the division of Barrow. Local hikers made a grisly discovery of an unidentified body around 6 am. Police has yet to release any information of the victim's identity, but it is speculated that the victim could be local high school student Samantha Morris who was reported missing yesterday afternoon after she failed to return home from school. Police advise that-" dad shut off the TV.

My whole body was shaking, my eyes could hardly make out the shapes of family members around me. Samantha, why would anyone want to hurt her? I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she was dead. She was the stranger in the woods. I hadn't known her long, but what I did know was that there is no way she deserved this.

"Renesmee" mom said, trying to get my attention. "Renesmee" she said louder, shaking me lightly. I looked up at her and she caught my face in her hands. "Honey I think it's best if you just stayed home from school today"

I nodded. I had no desire to go to school, to see the circus in the halls. I grabbed my coffee and shrugged out of my mother's cold embrace. "I'm going to go back to bed" I said as I headed towards the steps.

"Sweetheart, I know you knew her. Do you want to talk about it" mom asked, but I just kept walking. I didn't want to talk.

Having no intention on actually going back to sleep, I wondered what I could do to pass the time until Jacob got back from patrolling. Maybe because death is such a distant thing in my family, it's just too hard of a concept for me to grasp. Poor Samantha, poor Billy.

And that thought stopped me cold. Billy wasn't a stranger, he wasn't in danger of meeting a grisly death out here in Barrow's woods, but he was dying. Soon he would take his last breath, and then his eyes would no longer see and it would be the end. He will never return to this place, the permanence of it was heart breaking, and soI needed to see him one last time. I don't care what Jacob said. I will never age, grow old and die. I have no knowledge of the peaceful place that humans go when their life ends, I have no chance of being reunited with him one day in a paradise. All I have is here and now, and I needed one last chance to tell him I love him.

I was so engrossed in thought that I didn't even hear Jake come in and throw sock at my head.

"Breakfast germ" he teased, but I didn't answer. I watched his expression go serious as he came to sit next to me on the bed, drawing me into his arms. "I'm really sorry about that girl Ness" he said resting his chin on my head. "I want you to know that I will find whatever did that to her" Because I am a selfish horrible person, I had almost forgot about Samantha, I was too caught up on Billy and afterlives to connect the things he was saying.

"Oh well thanks…" I said, my cheek resting on his chest. We sat still for a moment, just enjoying each other's company until I broke the silence. "I want to see Billy" I told him. I felt him shake his head no but I interrupted him before he could say anything. Pressing my hands to his face, I showed him everything I had been feelings a few minutes earlier.

"Nessie, I know this hurts but it's just normal. A part of life, you know? I don't think that seeing him will make it any less painful but if it's want you really want then I won't stop you". I couldn't believe he wasn't arguing. I had worked up a nice long speech about it and everything. Part of me couldn't help but think that he just wanted me back in La Plush.

"We should go soon though, like tonight, I think that would be best. You need to know something though Nessie, he's not Billy. He doesn't look like himself, he is weak and frail, and he has almost no memory anymore." He said but the words sounded choked. I reached up to touch his face but he shrugged me off and got up off the bed.

"Ok well I'm just saying be prepared that he won't remember you. Now can we please go eat, I'm starving." I walked up to him and rose up on tiptoe. He leaned down and kissed me slowly before throwing me over his shoulder caveman style and hauling me downstairs to the table.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: As usual. I own nothing and take no credit for anything, because I am still lame.

Author's Note- ok so I'm trying not to make this whole story sad and what not. So enjoy this chapter because it leads up to some good stuff. Because this kind of ends on a cliffhanger I will make sure to update the next couple chapters as soon as possible. Thanks for reading, you guys are awesome. Reviews earn brownie points and a brand new car! (Except not really)

Chapter Seven

"Changes fill my time, baby, that's alright with me  
In the midst I think of you, and how it used to be"

-Robert Plant

The day went by rather quickly. Grandma Esme called me into her room earlier that day and braided my hair while we sat on her plush and unused bed. We talked for hours, about Barrow, and people, and places. It was nice to just talk. She explained that even though it doesn't seem that way, sometimes death is kindness.

I think my family was relieved to have me out of the house and harm's way for a couple days. While I threw some cloths in an overnight bag my mother came in and sat on the bed.

"Don't worry, I'm not here to give you the sex talk again" she said and I blushed. "Can you please just tell Billy that I love him" she said in a more serious tone , not looking up from the imaginary speck she was picking off her flawless fingernails. It was then that I realized just what big of a part Billy had in her life too. Not just Billy, but all the people that she knew and loved. My mom knew so many people, much more than me. And for almost all of them, she would feel just how she feels now. Life is cruel for those who defy it.

Right after my mom left the room, Jake came into grab my bag. "Christ woman, were only going for a couple days" he said, just like I knew he would. I tried to give him a playful punch but he snatched up my arms and held the over my head and I knew he would to that too.

Once everything was safely in the car I said a quick goodbye to everyone and we drove away. The run would probably take about 4 hours for Jake, which is incredible seeing how north Barrow is. As fast as I can run, my stamina is not as great as his so the plan is to drive halfway and run the rest. To be honest, I was grateful we didn't have to run the whole way. I had only done it once before with mom and dad and the trip totally kicked my ass. Dad actually had to carry me part way, embarrassing I know. I really was looking forward to the drive, usually I hated being in a car for long periods of time, but with Jake it's different. I like the closeness, the intimacy of just being me and him.

Even though the reason of the visit was sad, I couldn't help but be excited to see everyone from Forks. It seemed like it had been forever since I last saw everyone. I didn't just leave Jacob behind when we moved, I left my best friend Leah, and Seth, and Grandpa Charlie. Pretty much everyone I cared about (excluding any vampires) I had left back in Forks.

"I'm excited for the visit" I admitted to Jake, but he just nodded his head. The distance between us stretched much farther than the boundaries of the car; this was going to be a long ride.

We drove in silence for a while, after about an hour Jacob fiddle with the radio. The only stations that came in were either insanely religious or nauseating country. Both of which were totally intolerable option.

"So I was thinking maybe we should just drive the whole wa, that way you won't have to run. We can get a hotel room tonight and leave first thing tomorrow." He suggested. Suddenly I was nervous. Jacob, me, alone in a hotel room. My nerves fluttered to life and my face blushed.

"Ok sure" I said quietly. He extended his arm and pulled me crossed the seat into his hot embrace.

"I love you Renesmee Cullen" he told me while kissing my head. "Yeah, yeah, yeah" I joked, molding my body into his. Maybe a hotel room wasn't so bad; I guess driving is better than running anyway, I mean the way Jacob drives, we should be there in no time tomorrow. I tried to reassure myself, to calm my nerves. It was no use, my body felt alive, anxious.

We rode in the car for a hell of a lot longer than I would have liked, we stopped a little less than halfway away at one of the nicest cheap motels we could find. Jacob was first to get out of the car, before I could open my door to follow, he was there, pulling me out of the car and into his arms. The hug was simple, almost strange for us. It's the kind of hug you give a friend you haven't seen in a while or a congratulations an acquaintance. It was not the way me and Jacob hugged. I brushed off the uneasy feeling in my gut and followed him towards the office. Just before we got inside he turned to me.

"Maybe we should get two double beds or something. I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything, that's not what this is about." He said.

"Jacob we have shared a bed about a million times, I'm sure we will manage" I told him, doing my best not to sound disappointed. I know it makes me sound horrible, that fact that so many bad things are happing around me, and all I want to do is give in to my own selfish needs, but there is something about being with him that just makes everything better. Like nothing else exists, just him and me. He is all I see, all I could ever need and want. Until recently we have always kept things pretty PG13, he always said we were rushing, or I wasn't ready, and I kind of agreed with him. Leah would always joke about me being a prude or a tease, and I would shrug her off. It's different now. The way I look at him has changed along with so many other things. I want to be as close to him as I possibly can, and there is one way I can think of to achieve that. I just have no clue if he will agree.

"Umm.. baby are you coming inside or do u just want to stand out here?" he said, snapping me out of thought. I grabbed his hand and followed him inside the tiny office. The man behind the desk looked us up and down. I shifted uncomfortable, suddenly Jacob's presence seemed so much more intimidating in the small office.

"How can I be of service" the man said with a grin, his teeth yellowed, looking at me.

"I need a room" Jacob said, his grip on my hand becoming almost painful.

The man chuckled "Yeah I kind of figured that" he said. Without another word he took the money and handed Jake the key. Very, very wise of him.

We got our bags from the car and headed to the room. It was pretty much the same as any 2 star road side motels. Not that I have a lot of real life experiences to compare too, but from what I saw on TV and movies, this places seemed pretty normal. As soon as I stepped into the room I noticed that it was freezing. Whoever was here before had apparently left the air condition on. Why you need air conditioning in the Alaskan fall is beyond me, at least I the luxury of a werewolf boyfriend to keep me warm.

"You're cold, aren't you?" he asked me, dropping my bag on the floor alongside the bed.

"A little…how could you tell" As far as I knew, I hadn't showed any outward signs of discomfort.

"You always fiddle with your hands when you're cold" he said. I couldn't help but smile.

"Well then….warm me up" I replied.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything, nada. This story is just for fun.

Authors Note: Ok sooo, I'm sure a lot of people are going to read this chapter and be like WHATT? But remember, it's like I said in the beginning of the story, my idea of Nessie for this is not some innocent, virginal, sweet girl, waiting for Jacob to sweep her off her feet. I wanted her to be strong willed and have strong ideals and not fall into that blushing bride role. So hopefully with that said, you will kind of get where I am coming from in this chapter. Anyway thanks for everyone who just added me to their alerts, I really appreciate it. Its stuff like that, that makes me want to keep this story going. So enjoy ;)

Chapter 8

"Society, have mercy on me

I hope you're not angry if I disagree

Society, crazy and deep

I hope you're not lonely without me"

-Eddie Vedder, Society

The breath left my body as Jacob's eyes turned black. A low growl began to form in his chest as he stalked over to me. I titled my head up out of impulse and soon his lips were crashing down on mine. My fingers knotted in his hair as I tried to pull him to me. I couldn't seem to get close enough, even with my body pressed like a thin line against his. I moaned into his mouth as his fingers slowly kneaded my sides. In a heartbeat he picked me up and crossed the room in two giant steps, plopping me down on the bed. He was on top of me before I even caught my breath. I felt the hardness of him press against my belly as he hovered over me. I loved the way he felt above me, heavy and warm. He spread my legs with his knee, and pressed against a place that made my head spin, his hands snaking their way through my shirt to cup my breasts. His boldness surprised me, but my body was more than willing to go with him anywhere. My head was screaming "Umm Hello! Bad timing" but other parts of me didn't seem to mind. This was it, finally really it, and for the first time I think I was ready. I felt the pressure inside me building, low and deep. My hips moved on their own accord, forming a rhythm as my body pressed and brushed on Jacobs. Soon his body mimicked my own. Tighter and tighter my body tensed, hips moving faster, breath growing quicker, waiting for that release.

Naturally, I was totally stunned and dumbstruck when he pulled away. Not pulled away, jerked away, thrust himself away. It was like he couldn't detach himself from me fast enough. Immediately he started cursing and apologizing. Really Jake? I'm pretty sure we should be past this stage of our relationship. Frustrated, I tried to speak but he wasn't listing, I got off the bed and grabbed his hands. When I had his attention, I got on my tiptoes and stretched my hand up to his face. Once my small hand was lightly rested on his hot cheek I showed him what I felt. I showed him that I was enjoying it, and that he did nothing wrong. I showed him that I didn't want to stop. He let me finish before lightly pulling my hand back down. He bent down and pressed his forehead to my own.

"Ness…." He said softly. "You know I have to marry you first"

What? Did I just hear him right? Marry me? As much as I love Jacob and want nothing more in life than to be totally and completely his forever, I'm just not that kind of gal.

"W-what" I stuttered.

"It's what's right, Nessie. I want to be with you like that more than anything, you know that. But I won't do that to you." He said.

"Do what to me exactly? Steal my vulture? Make me a dishonorable gypsy women, who's only value in this society is her virginity? Be serious Jacob, this isn't the middle ages. I mean I'll live forever, why does a custom of such a temporary society have to dictate how I live my life! Marriage is just something that religious made up so that a man can own a women." I said, completely and totally flustered.

He laughed…..really laughed. Long and hard. I love him, but good lord I wanted to hit him.

"What it so funny?" I asked through gritted teeth. I kind of wondered if this was real anger or built sexual frustration and an insensitive boyfriend.

"I love when you go all feminist on me" He said, and I glared.

"Jacob, I love you so much. So much. I don't think I could even explain. But you know I'm not that kind of girl. I mean what does marriage even mean anyway? People take it for granted all the time. If we are already so much in love, what can some stupid ceremony prove anyway?" I pressed, calmer now.

"Baby, I know you didn't grow up in a typical, conventional household, but I did. It's just what normal people do, what were supposed to do."

"Who said anything about being normal" I said and he smiled at me.

"Marry me" he said.

"No" I answered.

He shot me a mock look of pain and dramatically clenched his heart.

"Renesmee you have broken my heart once again" he said, in a horrible southern bell impression. I hugged him hard. This was not the first time we had this conversation, and I'm sure it wouldn't be the last. Jacob must have been tired; he let out a huge yawn and stretched his body until his bone cracked.

Defeated. Always defeated. I gave up on creating some master plan to seduce him and led him by the hand to the bed. "Come on you big baby I will tuck you in" I said and he smiled, kissing me lightly before laying us down on the bed. I crept into my normal place and nuzzled against his body in a spot I knew was just for me. Suddenly, I was tired too.

"Hey, Gloria Steinman, maybe tomorrow we can burn your bras" he said into the calm silence of the room, so amused by his joke.

I couldn't help but laugh.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything, nada. This story is just for fun.

Authors Note: OMG I KNOW! I'm so sorry, it's been forever since I updated, I've just been sooo busy. I promise updates will start to come weekly. Thanks so much for those of you who still reading my story even after I almost abandoned you! This chapter is sad, but we all knew it was coming. Enjoy and review

Chapter 9

Now that I'm alone I feel the lonely brokenness  
Of all the wicked avenues I've ever sold my love on.  
All these moments of meekness and trembling subsided  
In the outright abandon of this orphan child

-Animals, Cocorosie

"Are you every going to wake up?" Jacob said, pulling me out of my warm nest of blankets. His skin was damp and his skin smelt of soap. I rolled over onto my back and he bent down towards me. His wet dark hair spilling down over his face and he kissed me slowly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. Still refusing to open my eyes, to give into daylight and get out of the bed.

Unfortunately, things never go my way. He pulled away and I forced my eyes open, stretched and sat up. Jacob was already packing up our things from last night, his mouth pressed in a hard line, his jaw tight.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Almost seven, were going to leave the car at a local truck stop. We can run the rest of the way" He replied, not looking up from the bag he was packing. The rest of the morning passed with emptiness. We packed up and set off without saying a word. Nothing but the hum of the air conditioner to fill the silence.

We left the car safely at the old truck stop, he assured me that it would be fine there for a couple days.

"Tell me when you get tired and we will take a break" He told me as we walked out of sight into the forest. He was angry, not at me, just angry. His shoulders were hunched forward; there was way more force in each step than needed.

"Jacob…I-"I started.

"No time for talking" he interrupted "we need to get moving"

And with that we ran. Slow at first, then faster, so fast that the trees blurred past me like rough gangly claws. The cold air ripped through my lungs and stung like needles and pins. My heart hammered in my chest, blood pounding in my ears. But still I ran. I didn't want to stop. I wanted to fall in line behind Jacob, and run until there was no more darkness. No more death and monsters and sickness. Just the pine smell of the forest, Jacobs russet skin blurred in front of me, cold wind ripping through my hair.

We ran for what seemed like hours, switching leaders from time to time, but never letting up on the pace. Our feet on the earth reminded me of the steady beat of a drum. When it seemed as if all the time in the world had come and passed, I finally saw the similar land of forks. It smelt as it always had to me, damp and full of pine trees.

As we made our way through to Laplush Jacob abruptly slowed to a walk. I gasped for breath behind him, my muscles burning but so thankful for their break.

"Look Ness, it's like I said before, he has good days and bad day. Don't except a lot." He said, not looking at me. Strong, always so strong. I wanted to hold him, to kiss him and tell him that is will be ok, to let it out, but all I could manage was a nod. I understood what he was telling me, I had been preparing for, but still it didn't make me ready.

As soon as Jake's house was in sight, Rachel came bursting out. Sam and Emily followed close behind. They all looked exhausted, just broken. Jacob and his sister exchanged a quick hug before she turned to me and pulled me into her tight embrace.

"I'm so glad you have come" she sighed "I think today will be the end, I'm glad you will see each other one more time." I fought to hold back tears and Rachel and I trembled in each other's arms. I felt Jacobs hot hand on my shoulder, I released Rachel and turned to him. The air left my lungs suddenly. Never have I seen such a look of sorrow, so hollow and empty. It was like all the light in the world had been snuffed out.

I burst into tears and sobbed so hard that my sides ached. I was being selfish but I couldn't stop. I needed to be strong for Jacob, but seeing him in that much pain was too much to stand. He pulled me into his arms, which he was done so many times before, and I pressed my palm to his cheek and showed him all the ways I loved him, and how sorry I was. When we were done, walked silently inside.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything, nada. This story is just for fun.

Authors Note- Two updates in one day, by golly! Chapter 9 was so short so i decided you guys deserved chapter ten too. So the chapters about the Billy thing are short, I don't want to fill them up with unnecessary chatter. This chapter was so hard to write, I just couldn't find the words for it. Please bear with me and I promise this story will get happier! Please read and enjoy.

Chapter 10

"Out in the garden where we planted the seeds  
There is a tree that's old as me  
Branches were sewn by the color of green  
Ground had arose and passed its knees

By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top  
I climbed the tree to see the world  
When the gusts came around to blow me down  
I held on as tightly as you held onto me  
I held on as tightly as you held onto me

And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust"

-To Build a Home, Cinematic Orchestra

Billy was sleeping in his small bed, in his small room. His skin was pale and so thin it almost looked translucent. His breathing was shallow and his body was so frail. The floor boards creaked as Jacob and I walked into the room and Billy woke. A faint smile crossed his lips and took a deep breath.

"Well I'm glad to see you two kids" He said, voice hard like he swallowed gravel. "I didn't know if you would come" he finished.

"Of course we came dad" Jacob said, sitting down alongside him on the bed. Billy's eyes followed Jacob. His eyes did not hold death or sickness, but pride and love. Suddenly his eyes shifted to me and my heart beat quickened. He remembered.

"Renesmee, it's so good to see you" He said to me, holding out his hand. I walked over to him and took his hand. His skin was cold and clammy.

And then we talked, all three of us. About the weather, and the oceans. We talked about Jacobs and Rachel growing up, family vacations and camping trips to the mountains. We talked about Jacob's mother and how she used to hide Christmas presents around the house, and they would spend all Christmas day looking for them. And as we talked Billy seemed to be at ease, peaceful almost, like he was not scared of death. His voice grew faint, and his breathing slowed.

"Renesmee" he breathed "Do you think you can do one last thing for this old man?"

"Of course" I replied, squeezing his hand.

"Show me something" he told me.

"What would you like me to show you?" I asked him in a shaky voice.

"Anything" he said, closing his eyes. I looked up at Jacob, who nodded his head in approval. I slowly raised my free hand to his cheek and showed him everything I could think of. Sunlight through trees, dew on the grass, flowers in spring, waves lapping and eroding timelessly. I showed him Jacob, and Rachel, and people, and forests. I showed him every place I have ever been, every place I wanted to go. I showed him every happy moment I had ever know, all the beauty I had seen in my short life. I showed him love and laughter, and colors and textures and then I felt his tears on my hand. I showed him all these things until his eyes could no longer see, until his lungs took their final breath, until his hand went slack in mine.

We sat with him, even after he had gone. No one speaking, no one crying. Just waiting, our last visit to a dear friend. Sadness stretched up and pulled at my bones. Billy would never hold his grand children in his arms, or walk his daughter down the aisle. He would never open his eyes again, or breathe the salty air by the beach. It was truly and unbreakably over.

Jacob pulled the sheet up over his father and said something in a tribal language I did not understand.

Two days later I was standing at Billy's funeral. All of Laplush and most of Forks were there. It astounded me just how many people came to say their goodbyes. Even though I felt so much sadness, I couldn't help but feel relief too. There was no more pain for Billy. Just eternity in a wonderful place that I know I have no part of. Jacob seemed relieved too, we talked for hours the night Billy passed. We talked about him until the sun came up. Jacob was hurt but I knew deep down he could see the goodness in this ending too.

When everything was said and done we left Forks together. The run back to the car was quicker than I thought it would be. Time really seemed to be flying by.

"Hey what do you say we get a motel room again, I'm way too tired to drive back" He suggested.

"Sure" I said, leaning over the seat of the car and kissing his cheek.

"You know, I think I love you" he said

"Yeah, yeah, yeah"

"Thank you Nessie. That meant so much to have you there" he said, his tone serious.

"Don't thank me Jacob; you know I would do anything for you" I replied. He nodded his head and we drove the rest of the way to the motel in silence. Not that painful, sadness filled silence. Just a simple silence, two people with nothing to say.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything, nada. This story is just for fun.

Authors Note- I'm excited for this chapter, and I hope you guys like it too. Thank you to all the people that have subscribed and reviewed, it's that kind of thing that makes me want to keep writing this story. So please read and enjoy

Chapter 11  
"I'm miles from where you are,  
I lay down on the cold ground  
I pray that something picks me up  
And sets me down in your warm arms"

-Set the Fire to the Third Bar, Snow Patrol

We laid together in the darkness, the only light came from the neon "Vacancy" sign glowing outside our motel window. It was raining now; the soft patter of rain drops on the roof was mesmerizing to me. I was curled against Jacob in my usual spot, tucked away safely in the crook of his arm. My fingernails traced patterns a crossed his board chest, my ears listing to his steady heart beat. I was tired but I couldn't sleep, there was just far too much to think about. Billy's death had rattled me to my core, showed me that life cannot exist entirely of immortality and perfection. People die everywhere, everyday. But what happens to the immortals? Do they get a place in the great fade or is that reserved for others with far more temporary lives? If this wasn't enough to force away sleep, the thought of going home tomorrow to face whatever was killing the locals was. A sad realization came upon me just then. I didn't want to go back. I didn't want to face my family's perfection, their vast separation from mortality and society. I didn't want to go to school, I knew more that the teacher, and there was nothing left for them to teach me. I didn't want to go home and play "normal" again. I just wanted to start over, to stay here in Jacobs arms forever. He was everything to me, I didn't need anything else ever again as long as I had him.

And then the guilt came. Guilt for how much he has done for me. How much he had sacrificed. He left his home, his dying father, his family and friends, and for what? Just to follow selfish little me. All the things he has done for me and I couldn't give him the one thing he wants. The only thing he has ever asked me for. But still I tell him no, that I will never be his wife.

I sat up and crawled onto Jacob, straddling his body. His hand instinctively went to my hips as I leaned down to kiss him. I captured his face in my hands and moved my lip softly against his. He kissed me back, tenderly at first, then hard. He rolled us over effortlessly, pinning me underneath his weight, kissing slowly down my neck. My back arched and my body trembled as I felt his hands fumble with the draw strings on my pajama pants. Slowly he slid his hand dipped low, a gently touch and a brush of his thumb on my most sensitive spot made me cry out, clawing at the sheets. He didn't stop there, soon his hands found a steady rhythm as he brush and rubbed against me. A low fire began to build in the deepest parts of me, tighter and tighter my body tensed and rose. Jacob had touched me before but never as boldly as this. I felt like my skin would split, and I would burst apart into a million pieces, like a child's balloon filled with too much air. I was panting, withering under him, but still he kept going, bringing me over the edge until I saw stars. That feeling inside me grew and grew until my body was rippled with the explosion. Gently he brought me back down to earth, laying a gentle kiss onto my stomach and worked his way back up until he was kissing my lips again.

"I love making you look like that" he said into the side of my neck, pressing kisses to me as he spoke. I didn't answer; I was too busy making the best of my bodies aftershocks. I ran my hands over his chest, over the tight muscles of his stomach. Trembling, I began to move my hands lower, only to have them captured.

"That's enough for one night baby, were probably in enough trouble as it is" he told me.

"I don't want to stop. I want to do this for you" I said, trying not to sound too disappointed.

"Another night, we really have to go to bed. Were leaving early tomorrow morning"

"You know I love you, but your chipper morning attitude is really disheartening" I told him, kissing him softly one more time before he pulled away for the night. He chuckled against my lips and rolled back over onto his back. I immediately followed, curling my body back into my spot.

"I love you Jacob"

"Yeah, yeah, I love you to kid. Night Gloria Steinman"

"Stop calling me that" I scolded, hitting him with the pillow before finally closing my eyes until the morning.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything. This story is just for fun. I don't own the song either, though I wish I did.

Authors note- Don't hate me for this chapter, it was hard to write, kind of dull in my opinion, but it leads to good stuff, I promise I'm trying my hardest to keep updates regular and not sporadic, but I work as a horse trainer and I'm a full time student, thus my schedule sucks. But anyway, thanks to all you reviewers out there, I really appreciate them. Enjoy.

Chapter 12

"Love of two is one  
Here but now they're gone  
Came the last night of sadness  
And it was clear she couldn't go on  
Then the door was open and the wind appeared  
The candles blew then disappeared  
The curtains flew then he appeared...saying don't be afraid  
Come on baby...and she had no fear  
And she ran to him...then they started to fly  
They looked backward and said goodbye...she had become like they are  
She had taken his hand...she had become like they are  
Come on baby...don't fear the reaper"

-Blue Oyster Cult

The drive back to the house was quick. Before I knew it I was back in my parent's stone embrace. Everyone crowded over Jacob with their condolences and he squirmed from their attention.

"Jacob you look like you haven't eating in a week, come inside and I will make you two some breakfast" Grandma Esme told us, clearly reading his awkwardness.

"Go ahead in Nessie, I want to talk with your dad for a minute" Jacob told me, no doubt wanting to get an update on the evil Bigfoot situation. Frustrated because they didn't think I should know, I started to protest but Jacob shot me a pleading look, so I gave up and went inside.

I followed Esme into the large kitchen. It looked as it always looked, untouched. I plopped down on the bar stool and watched as my Grandmother prepared and entire carton of eggs. We didn't really speak, we more or less enjoyed each other's company. She knew me well; I hated talking about my feeling, or things that upset me. Usually Alice would beat it out of me, but grandma Esme knew that her just being there said all the needed to be said. Another benefit to our silence was that it gave me a better opportunity to listen in on what Jacob was talking about. As soon as Esme turned around to fry the eggs I closed my eyes to listen. I could hear the sounds of the oven, the creaking of the house, the birds outside, the cars down on old route 44; the only thing I couldn't hear was Jacob. I did however hear the occasional "yes" and "no" from my father. I knew then that Jacob must have been talking inside his head. I wanted to be mad. I hated being left out, treated like a kid. I knew deep down that they were just trying to protect me, but I still had a right to know. Frustrated, I gave up and turned my attention back to my steaming cup of coffee.

Two cups of coffee later, Jacob pulled up a chair and plopped down beside me.

"Well?" I pressed, but it was too late. I had already lost him to the plate of steaming eggs and bacon that my grandma placed in front of him. Her timing was far to prefect to be coincidence. I ate a fraction of what Jacob did, but as usual he was done way before me. But unlike usual, he didn't stick around to wait, he got up rinsed his dish and disappeared down the hall. I got up and followed him.

"Can you please tell me what's going on?" I called behind him but he made no attempt to answer, and before I could catch up and give him hell, Aunt Alice had zoned in on me.

"Let the boys talk" she said coming up beside me. "I have so much to tell you"

"Er- can it wait? I kind of need to talk to Jake" I said. "Not a chance" she said, smiling in that way only Alice with an agenda could. And with that, I spent the next three hours deciding what I would wear tomorrow, and gossiping about a school I only attended a few times. Sometimes life was so unfair.

When Jacob's wide frame suddenly appeared in the door way I felt a wave of relief wash over me. Freedom.

"Fine, steal away my favorite niece" she said, sounding slightly annoyed.

"She's your only niece, and you had her long enough" Jacob said to her before leaning down to give me a quick kiss.

"You two are gross. Text me later Renesmee" she said before leaving the room.

'You are staying with me tonight kid" Jacob told me, walking over to the couch.

"Why?" I asked him. Not that I objected.

"You are not going to stop until I tell you the truth, aren't you." He said, sounding more like a statement that a question. I nodded my head and went over to the couch to sit beside him.

"Ok well, we aren't exactly sure what it is, but it's killed at least 3 more people. Luckily Emmet found the bodies before the authorities did and manage to stage them as accidents."

"But don't the victim's families have the right to know what happened to them?" I asked him.

"They do Ness, but the last thing we need is a man hunt, besides humans have nothing against whatever the hell this is. Anyway, your family is going out hunting tonight. They need to feed and get their strength up so we can go after this thing." I was scared and he must have sensed it.

"Some of the pack is coming up in a couple days to help. I promise I will find whatever is doing this. Nothing is going to hurt you. You're going to stay with me tonight so I can keep you safe" he added.

"Well…thanks for letting me know" I said, unsure of what else I should say.

"It's really important that until we figure everything out, you listen to exactly what I say ok? No going anywhere alone, and when I tell you to do something, just do it and ask questions later" he told me.

Later that night at Jacob's house, I was attempting to cook spaghetti. Jacob was passed out on the couch, I didn't blame him for being so exhausted, he had been through so much. Unfortunately I couldn't save dinner. The spaghetti was burned so badly to the bottom of the pot that I thought a chisel and hammer would be the only way to dislodge it. Not wanting to put smelly burnt noodles in the trash I carefully grabbed the pot and headed outside to dump it for the animals to pick though.

The air was cold, the wind stinging at my cheeks as it blew by. The moon was so bright that it illuminated the whole forest under its soft glow. I padded through the frosty earth to the ends of the trees, my mind so preoccupied with what else I could make for dinner. I didn't even realize something was wrong. That was until I felt the hot liquid pooling at my side as I felt onto the cold ground. I didn't have time to panic, to call for help. I couldn't even take a breath before I was being dragged back into the trees. The pain on my side hit me so sharp that it bowed my back, my vision swam and my body went limp. And just to get away from the pain, I gave into the blackness, bubbling under the surface, pulling me just out of sight.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything. This story is just for fun

Authors Note- I know I left you all on a cliffhanger, but here is the next chapter. There are about a million different ways I can go with this story, so it might take me a little while to decide which way I'm going to go. I will still try my hardest to update soon. Please enjoy and review.

Chapter 13

"I don't wanna be crippled and cracked  
Shoulders wrists knees and back  
Ground to dust and ash  
Crawling on all fours

When you've got to feel it in your bones  
When you've got to feel it in your bones"

Bones-Radiohead

Darkness, all I could see was darkness. No dimly lit outlines of shapes, no shadows along walls. Nothing but absolute darkness. For a minute I was pretty sure I was dead, except the searing pain in my side told me otherwise. True, I don't know much about death, but everyone says that there is no more pain, only peace, and I certainly did not feel at peace.

The ground that I lay on was cold and damp, and hard under my body. The smell of decay and limestone drifted around me. My head hurt, every breath I took hurt, ever small movement I made hurt. So I did the only thing I could think of, I curled my body up and sunk back down onto the hard earth, back down into the darkness.

Somehow I had fallen asleep; an unusual sound had woke me. It was a metallic clatter, like metal on metal, scraping and pulling. I sat up and peered silently in the darkness. My sight was useless so I closed my eyes again and listened. At first I could only hear my heart beat in the defining silence, and then soon I hear a different sound. A distinct rhythmic pattern. A separate heart beat, and I knew I wasn't alone. Panic filled my body, burned in lungs, tensed my muscles. Despite being injured I shot up and tried to run. A managed to stagger a couple steps before I was pulled off my feet by something cold and hard clamped around my ankle. It rattles just like the sound I heard before.

That thought stopped me cold and dread climbed its way in. Chains. I was chained here.

"H-h-hello?" a small voice said into the darkness. It was a male voice, young, maybe in his early teens, and it was terrified. "Please" he pleased, his voice raspy, sounding like gravel. "Please is there anyone don't here, oh god" he sobbed.

"I'm here, it's ok you're not alone, it will be ok" I tried to calm him, but his sobbing worsened.

"I'm Renesmee" I told him, trying to keep my voice calm and neutral.

"N-n-nicolas" he stuttered.

"Are you hurt Nicolas?" I didn't smell any blood beside my own but I needed to be sure"

"I don't think so, I'm just so scared"

"How long have you been down here" I asked him

"I don't know, maybe a couple days. The last thing I remember is I was camping with my friends at Greenwood" He said, panic raising his voice. "I got out of my tent to go to the bathroom, and something grabbed me. It came out of nowhere. It scratched me and knocked me out, and I woke up here"

"So you have no idea where we are?" I asked.

"No, but I think we are in a basement or something. Every so often I see a line of light, like light shining from under a door" he said. "Were going to die aren't we" he added, sounding so small, so very young.

"No, no one is going to die. I have family that will stop at nothing until they find us, and as soon as I can figure out who is doing this, I can try to stop it" I told him.

"You don't understand. Its big, whatever it is, it's big and strong."

I just needed to know who it was, what it was. Maybe I could fight it, break free, save Nicholas and myself. Then I felt the pain again, stinging searing pain. This wasn't right, I should have healed by now. When I was a kid I just about cut my thumb off with an apple peeler, 2 hours later and it was like it never happened. But I was still hurt, still bleeding in fact. It just doesn't make any sense. Must be some of toxin, or poison, something that challenges my body, something that is keeping me from healing.

And then I was tired, too tired to think, about monsters and toxins, about Nicholas and basements. I lay back down on the cold floor, and closed my eyes. Jacob, that's what I saw with my eyes closed, and with that, I handed myself over to exhaustion.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything. This story is just for fun.

Authors Note: Ok so this one is kind of long but I think you guys will like it. Please enjoy

Chapter 14

"I'm not a stranger, No I am yours  
With crippled anger, And tears that still drip sore

A fragile frame aged, with misery

And when our eyes meet, I know you see"

Cut-Plumb

"Renesmee, Renesmee please wake up." Someone sobbed. "Please, oh god, I don't want to be alone, you have to wake up. You have to help me" My eyes fluttered open, but I couldn't see anything. Reality came crashing down hard. I was still trapped here, still hurt.

"It's ok Nicholas, I'm ok" I told him. God my voice sounded weak. "How long did I sleep for" I asked him.

"For a long time, I kept trying to wake you up. I was so sure you were dead" he said. I reached down to my side and touched just under my rips. I couldn't help put cry out from the pain. My shirt was damp from my warm blood. I was still bleeding, but much less than before.

"What's wrong? Are you ok?" Nicholas asked me, panicked.

"I'm hurt, but I will be ok." I told him, but he was on the verge of hysterics.

"Listen to me Nicholas" I said firmly, waiting for him to calm down. "Are you chained too?" I asked him.

"I-I-I think s-soo" his voice trembled.

"Ok, were going to play a little game. I want to see how far our chains reach, if we can reach each other." I told him but I didn't hear him reply.

"Nicholas? Nicholas are you nodding, you know I can't see you"

"Sorry, I'm here" he finally said.

"Ok good. Do you know how to play Marco Polo?" I asked.

"Y-y-yes…"

"Good, now listen to me. I'm going to say Marco, you answer Polo, and we are going to crawl towards each other's voices. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand" he said, sudden braveness washing over his voice.

"Marco" I said into the darkness, pulling myself up on my hands and knees. I heard his chains rattle as he pulled himself up.

"Polo" he answered and I crawled towards his voice.

"Marco" I said, my heart beat quickening, panic pulling at the edges of my mine.

"Polo" he said, sounding close. I heard the sounds of our chains pulling at the concrete floor.

"Marco, Marco!" I said, desperate to reach him, terrified that at any moment that chain would tense.

"Po—" was all he got out before our bodies crashed into each other. We pulled each other in, desperately embracing and clawing at each other's bodies. Nicholas sobbed frantically against me.

"Oh god, you're so cold Renesmee" he said in-between sobs.

"Its fine, were fine now" I told him. I was about to comfort him more when I heard noises above my head. Like someone was walking on the floor above us. Then I saw the line of light that Nicholas described right before a door opened, spilling warm yellow light onto the stairs. A dark figure of a man stepped in, closing the door behind him without turning on a light. I stayed silent, tightening my arms around Nicholas.

The man's boots thumped slowly down the stairs. Each step he took seems to take hours. I heard his boots make contact with the cement floor and Nicholas screamed. His foots steps quickened, going behind me. I heard him pick up the chains I was connected too, and with one sharp pull I was ripped out of Nicholas's arms. I flew backwards and landed hard on my back. And then the man was on top of me. His smell something I did not recognize. Not like a human, or a vampire, or the pack. I felt his hot breath on my neck as he buried his face in my hair, sniffing me.

"What are you?" the man asked. His voice so deep and low, terrifying. His body hovered above me, pinning me underneath his weight. I struggled against him. Usually a normal human male is no match for me. I don't know if his strength was because I was so weakened from my injury or if he is something different, something stronger from a normal man. His hands pinned my wrists, his face running up and down my neck. I fought harder. I thrashed my limps, flailing against him, trying to knock him off of me. He fought to keep me still, our strength seemed matched now. I felt his fist come down hard against my face, the contact stung but my adrenaline kept pumping. I thrashed and jerked, kicking and biting at him, but he kept hitting me. Delivering blows with more and more force. I jerked my head upward with as much force as I could, smashing it into the man's head. He hollered in pain and started to roll off of me. I scrambled away from him. With a burst of adrenaline I snapped the chains off of me and crawled to Nicholas, who was screaming. I gathered him up, snapping his chains and pulling him to his feet.

"We have to go!" I yelled at him "Get up we have to go know" I heard the man moaning in the darkness as I stumbled around trying to find ths stairs. My legs finally bashed into the first step and I pulled Nicholas and myself upward. The man in the darkness began screaming, I could tell he was getting to his feet.

At the top of the steps I threw open the door, crashing through into the light. We weren't in a house like I thought. It was an old barn. Filled his decaying straw and dusty empty stalls. We burst through the barn doors into the day light. It was so hard to run, every step I felt so much pain, and pulling Nicholas along was exhausting still my body pushed. We made our way through the clearing, we were almost to the forest line when I heard boots slamming their way up the stair and through the barn after us.

"STOP! GET BACK HERE" the man yelled frantically. I pushed my legs faster. "I'm GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU BOTH" the man screamed. I heard another strange metallic sound, the cocking of a shot gun, right before a loud boom shattered the air around all of us.

Time stood still. Everything froze. I felt the heat from the bullet around me and I knew that it had made contact. I waited. I waited for the pain, for my knees to give out, for the darkness to take over. For the man to drag me back down to the cellar. Jacob, I wanted him so bad. All I could think of was him. I wanted to be in his mind, for him to see what I could see, so that he could come find me. I wanted this so badly. But I knew it wasn't possible, so I just waited.

Time slowly came back to me, that's when I saw Nicholas go limp beside me, falling to the ground in a scarlet puddle. "Nicholas!" I screamed, shaking him frantically. "What have you done?" I screamed at the man, not taking my eyes off as Nicholas. His eyes slowly dimmed, his mouth moved, trying to speak. I sobbed above him, my tears following onto his face.

"Run." He said, before leaving this world. I heard the gun cocking and sprung to my feet, stunned by what I saw. It wasn't a man. And if it was, it was so badly maculated and disfigured that its features were contorted in ways that didn't even make sense. Two black eyes peered at me and he slowly raised the gun to aim. It's skin oozing with oils and puss. It's mouth was lipless, just sharp black teeth snapped at me through a skinless mouth. His clawed hands gripped the gun tightly. Despite my fear, and my pain, my brain shut it out. Instinct took over, and I turned and ran. I ran as fast as I could. Trees blurring past me, my bare feet digging into the cold ground. My heart pumped frantically in my chest but my feet keep ruining. Running and running for as long as I can remember.

** Authors Note- I need your help! As of now there is NO CHAPTER 15! I'm so torn! I don't know if I want things to go in a happy direction after she escapes or in a bad direction, meaning she is recaptured or something. Let me know what you guys think!**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything. This story is just for fun.

Authors Note- Thanks to all who left feedback as to where they want the story to go. Hopefully this pleases everyone. Read, review, and enjoy.

Chapter 15

"Bury me softly in this womb  
Oh I want to be inside of you  
I give this part of me for you  
Oh I want to be inside of you

Down in a hole, feeling so small  
Down in a hole, losing my soul  
I'd like to fly but my  
Wings have been so denied"

-Down in a Hole, Alice In Chains

Dead. I must be dead. That is the only explanation I can think of. I couldn't see or smell or hear and the only thing I felt was warmth. So much warmth, it blanketed me, clothed me, wound through my body, pushing out the bitter cold I had felt before. I was to warm to feel panic, or fear. This must be death; nothing else in life could feel this warm, this good. I don't want to be dead, I don't want to go into that strange fade, I just want to be warm, and if this is a good as it gets, then I will take it.

I stayed like this for a while, surrounded by the warmth, and slowly I felt my senses return to me. I heard sounds now; at first I could not distinguish them, just distant mutters. I felt sensations on my body, like my body was in movement even though I was still. The noises turned into voices, which turned into pleading. Something was saying my name over and over. I strained through the darkness but saw nothing. No beautiful meadows filled with life and sunshine, no angels adrift on fluffy white clouds. No Billy, no Nicholas, no Samantha. Just darkness. And then my warmth was gone. The warm feeling left just as quickly as it came. And then I could feel, with painful clarity, someone carring me, pulling me along. Putting me back in the basement with the strange man.

If I was still alive than death would surely be better than going back there. So I fought. I fought with all my might. I thrashed and kicked and bit at the figure that held me. I screamed until my voice cracked. I fought as hard as I possibly could; I felt the wound at my side reopen, spilling warm blood down my side. But this would not stop me; nothing would stop me from fighting, because I refused to go back there.

"Nessie! Nessie stop! Stop, it's ok now, everything is ok" I heard someone say, a voice so familiar to me that it hurt. My eyes refused to open no matter how hard I tried. This voice must be a trick from the cruel man, so I continued to fight.

"Oh god Edward she's bleeding." Someone cried.

"Jacob hold her still, were almost home." A man answered.

And then I understood. The warmth around my body, the cold fingers prodding at me. None of which belonged to the man. It was my family, my Jacob. They had found me; somehow they had got to me. I sagged against the warm arms holding me. Arms that must belong to Jacob.

"Jacob-?" my voice squeaked.

"Shh, it's alright, I'm here, I got you. Please hold on a little longer were almost home" he said to me. I tried again to open my eyes, but still nothing.

"Why can't I see?" I asked to no one in particular.

"Your face is badly bruised Renesmee, your eye lids are too swollen" a women's voice said, my mother's voice. I wanted to cry. I felt Jacobs's warm arms carefully carry me through the forest. I wanted to stay awake, to have them talk to me., tell me a million times that I was not back in that basement. Cold hands pressed against my side, no doubt trying to stop the bleeding. I tried so hard to hold on, to stay awake, but once again, my exhaustion one, pulling me down all over again.

Authors Note- I know this one is short. Chapter 16 is almost complete and will be up soon!


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything. This story is just for fun.

Authors Note- As promised, here is the next chapter. I know the last one was crazy short, but for some reason I had an overwhelming urge to split them into separate chapters.

Because it is Halloween time I feel like I should warn you all them I am a horror/zombie fanatic. Why am I telling you this? Because, during Halloween there are a million horror movies, zombie walks, haunted houses, and Halloween parties for me to go to. And when I am at said Halloween festivities I am clearly not a home, writing this fanfiction. But I promise I will not forget about you guys! I will try my very hardest to ignore the call of zombie lore and write some more chapters, because I am mean, and always leave you on cliffhangers. With all that being said, please enjoy this chapter. If you review, I promise to save you a spot in one of my many zombie contingency plans.

Chapter 16

"And on my deathbed I will pray to the gods and the angels  
Like a pagan to anyone who will take me to heaven  
To a place I recall, I was there so long ago  
The sky was bruised, The wine was bled  
And there you led me on

In your house, I long to be

Room by room, Patiently

I'll wait for you there

Like a stone

I'll wait for you there,

Alone, alone."

-Like a Stone, Audioslave.

I slowly came back to conscious. Somehow I knew I was home, safe in my bed, the familiar sounds and smells proved it. My eyes fluttered open and I gazed around at the blurry room. A couple blinks and my eyes came into focus. Jacob was sitting on a chair along my bed, his body slumped over. Maybe he was sleeping. My family was speaking softly in the hall. I reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it gently. His head shot up, eyes snapped over.

"Hey kid, you're up" he said, leaning forward and pressing a chaste kiss to my forehead.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked him. My voice sounded terrible.

"Almost a full day, you needed it though. You were in bad shape when I found you."

"How? How did you find me?" I asked him

"I don't know. It's so hard to explain. As soon as I realized you were gone I launched a huge hunt. The whole pack came up. Even with all of them and your family, we couldn't find you. We looked everywhere for you, we tore everything within 500 miles, and still nothing. I couldn't find you." He said, sounding ashamed.

"But you did find me Jacob" I told him.

"That's the strange part. It's like it came to me in a dream. I saw what you saw. I saw the basement, and that disgusting piece of shit that captured you. I saw you try to run, and I saw that boy. I watched him through your eyes." He replied, sounding shaken.

"How is that possible?" I asked him. Remembering the feeling of wanting him with me so bad.

"I don't know, but that's how I found you."

"Well, I'm glad you did" I said, pulling the covers up higher over my cold body. There was a knock on the door. Then Aunt Rose's beautiful self appeared in the doorway.

"Is she awake?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm up, please come in" I told her. She rushed in the room, coming to my bedside, Uncle Emmett following closely behind her. I could hear it in her voice, if she was able to cry, tears would be streaked a crossed her beautiful cheeks.

"Oh honey, I'm so glad your home" she said, pressing her stone lips against my forehead. Uncle Emmet messed my hair lightly, smiling down at me. Aunt Alice soon joined then, followed by my mother and grandma Esme.

"Where is dad?" I asked my mother.

"He is talking to your grandfather and Jasper. He will be in soon. We are all so glad to have you home" she said.

Soon the excitement cleared and everyone left me to my rest. Jacob still stayed at my side. I tried to sit up but I was stopped by the pain on my ribs. I should be long healed, I don't understand. I pulled off the covers. Someone had changed me out of my bloody cloths and into a soft yellow night shirt. The one I wore whenever I was sick. Something about the pale yellow and soft fabric always made me feel better. I pulled the short night shirt up my body, exposing the bandages gathered around my wait, holding medical pads to my side. All of them stained, and pinked. Still bleeding.

"Why haven't I healed?" I asked Jacob, and he pulled my hands away from the wound. Pushing my night shirt back down and tucking me back into the bed.

"Carlisle and your dad are trying to figure that out. Whatever the fuck that this was has some kind of natural toxin, something that suspends healing or something."

Panic shot through me again.

"Don't worry Nessie; they are working 24/7 on it. They are going to find the cure, you're going to get better." He said, easing the tension in my body.

"You said the pack came to help find me, are they still here?" I asked him.

"Some of them had to head back to LaPlush, but Leah and Seth are downstairs."

I visited with my wolf friends for awhile, Leah joked and Seth teased. It felt good, I felt normal. The rest of my family came to see me again through out the day until finally Grandpa Carlisle kicked everyone out so he could change the bandages.

"Is there anything you can tell me Renesmee about what attacked you?" he asked me. Before I could stop myself, tears began spilling from my eyes. I didn't want to remember that horrible man, or whatever it was.

"It's ok sweetheart. I know it's hard, but if there is anything you can remember it will help us get what we need to heal you" my grandfather told me, taking my hand gently.

I told him everything I could remember. About the disfigured rotting man and his basement full of chains. Grandpa nodded, and peeled off the bandages and I winced.

"Don't look Renesmee" he told me, but it was too late. A huge gash sat on my side, right against my rip cage, so deep and inflamed. The area around the wound was black with bruises. I think it felt just as bad as it looked. Grandpa made quick work of dressing it. He pulled out a syringe with some kind of yellow liquid.

"I'm going to give you this sedative. It will help you sleep and ease the pain" he told me. I nodded, preparing for the sting of the needle. He gave me the shot and kissed my cheek.

"Get some rest sweetheart, call if you need anything" he said.

"Ok thank you" I told him, already feeling the effects of the sedative. "Can you tell Jacob to come back in?" I asked.

"Oh course" he said. "I love you Renesmee"

I wanted to tell him I loved him too, but I was already asleep.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything. This story is just for fun.

Authors Note- Happy almost Halloween! Thank you all so much for the reviews, special thanks to Laziesttiger for being such a loyal reader. I searched some other Nessie/Jake fictions online and got a bit distracted from my own, some of they are pretty good. But alas, I am back with an update. So please enjoy and try not to go into a diabetic coma from all the Halloween candy because there are more chapters to come

Chapter 17

"Comes the morning  
When I can feel  
That there's nothing left to be concealed  
Moving on a scene surreal  
No, my heart will never  
Will never be far from here

Sure as I am breathing

Sure as I"m sad

I keep this wisdom in my flesh

I leaver here believing

More that I had

This love has got

No Ceiling"

- No Ceiling, Eddie Vedder

I woke up, feeling groggy and stiff. I grumbled to myself and rolled over, pulling the comforter over my head. I hate mornings…

"Well some things never change" Jaspers said, making me jump a little. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. How are you feeling?" he asked.

Tears spilled over my eyes. Pain was what I was feeling, and not just the physical kind. I was so scared. Terrified that the man would find me, terrified for whoever else is down in that basement at this very moment. Before I could get any farther into my break down, an undeniable since of calm washed over me. Warming my skin, calming that ache I felt deep inside.

"Renesmee, I know this is going to be hard but I need you to tell me every little thing you remember about that night." Jasper told me.

"I-I- cant" I stammered, desperately trying to hold onto that little bit of calm.

"Please honey, you have to try."

"No please, it's too hard, I don't want to remember. I know I'm supposed to be strong and brave but I don't want to think about it" I said, trembling.

"Well then show me and I will do what I can to make it easier for you"

And I did. I put my hands to his cold granite skin and showed him everything. Every gory, painful, sadistic little detail. And for some reason, I felt a little better, better that I didn't have to keep that horror inside anymore.

"Thank you, I know that was hard" he told me, he strained to keep the anger from his face.

"Why do you need to know?"

"Because, whatever that _thing_ is, it's venomous. And we are going to need an anti-venom to reverse its effects." He said, regaining his composure.

"No!" I shrieked, horrified. My body protested to the stress. "No please, no one can go back there, I won't let you! I won't let anyone get hurt or killed over this" I said hysterically before the calm washed over me again like a tide, ebbing and eroding all my fears.

"Don't manipulate my emotions!" I begged "Please you have to listen to me" Then my mother burst through the room, coming to my side and gently pulling me into her stone arms. Jasper mouthed an 'I'm sorry' before slipping out the door. I felt guilty, I know he didn't mean to upset me.

"Shhh, it's ok" my mother comforted me. "We will be fine, we can easily take this thing. This is something we have to do, it's the only thing that can save you Renesmee"

"I could never forgive myself if something happens to any of you, I love you all too much" I pleaded. Suddenly my mind shot to Jacob. Surely he would go, to avenge me, he would want to be the one to deliver the killing blow, and that horrified me. Suddenly another realization crashed down. What about the others that would surly come. More would die, more would be dragged and chained in that dark room, and I couldn't allow it.

"I understand mom"

She let out a breath.

"Ok good, now do you want some breakfast?" She asked.

"I'll take some coffee" And as in on cure there was a knock at the door. Jacob appeared in the door way holding a tray, filled with a breakfast feast and a huge cup of coffee. My mother smiled at him and he stepped into the room and set the tray down on the night stand. She turned to kiss my cheek and left without saying another word.

I reached for the coffee first out of instinct. It was perfect, just the right about of cream and sugar. The dull pain in my side made me wince. Jacob tensed.

"I'm ok" I told him, suddenly very aware of my hunger. "Hey can you hand me that bagel?" I asked him, afraid of the pain if I reached for it. He handed me the bagel, then the toast, then the eggs, then the sausage, and I ate it all ravenously. I all but licked the plate clean.

"Jeesh I think you're eating habits are wearing off on me" I joked, but Jacob didn't laugh, he just sat in the sat in the chair beside my bed and looked at his hands.

"Why did you go outside?" he asked.

"What?"

"You went outside, I told you not to go anywhere without me, but you went outside for something…" he trailed off.

"Jacob, I-I'm sorry. I know it was stupid." I struggled for the words. The pain he must have felt to wake up and discover I was gone. I know Jacob, and I know he was blaming himself.

"Never mind, it's not important." He told me. Still not looking up.

I crawled forward on the bed, trying my best to ignore the pain. His head shot up.

"What are you doing? Get back in bed" he commanded. I kept crawling until I met his lips with my own. Kissing him softly, showing him with my gift how happy I was to be back, to be with him. I pulled away and he smiled.

"Now stop being gloomy, you're throwing off my groove" I told him.

"You are so lame for saying that" he laughed.

He helped me back into bed and we sat there quiet for a moment but not that sad kind of quiet from before. I watched him as he settled back into his chain, his dark hair falling forward around his face. I knew at this moment that things would be different somehow. It was this very moment that would change the rest of my life. I took a deep breath to calm my shaky nerves.

"Jacob?"

"Hmm?" He replied.

"…..Marry me?"


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything. This story is just for fun.

Authors note: SoooI hope you guys like this chapter. I wrote it under the influence of some heavy duty pain meds. I managed to burn the heck out of my neck this Halloween…..long story. Any who, please read, review, and enjoy. More chapters coming soon

Chapter 18

"And I do believe it's true  
That there are roads left in both of our shoes  
But if the silence takes you  
Then I hope it takes me too  
So brown eyes I hold you near  
Cause you're the only song I want to hear  
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere"

-Soul Meets Body, Death Cab for Cutie

`"Jacob?"

"Hmm?" He replied.

"…..Marry me?" My mind couldn't wrap around the words that just came out of my mouth. The one thing I was certain of was that I was not the marrying type and now I'm the one proposing. Maybe the pain meds are going to my head, or maybe my heart decided it's time to step up and make some decisions.

While he stared at me in silence, I rationalized. I was certain that I loved Jacob, that I would spend all of eternity with him, that I would be his forever. I couldn't imagine it any other way, and at this moment I wanted some stability. Marrying Jacob would be the one thing in my life that would offer that. Regardless of my family's moving, or the humans around me dying, or the unforeseen future looming over our heads, Jacob and I would stay constant. We would be husband and wife, and in love forever. Changing nothing, nowhere.

I waited as he watched me. My heart beating out of my chest.

"No" he said simply.

Mortified by his reaction, I fought to control my anger, and lost.

"What do you mean no? How many times have you asked me to marry you before?" I shouted, but still he said nothing, so I continued.

"And now all the sudden I'm not good enough? What the hell is going on?"

My body protested, pain starting to full my focus. I sat back in my bed, repulsed and rejected. I hugged my knees to my chest, not able to meet his eyes. And then something surprised me. Jacob was laughing.

I looked up at him, his eyes warm with laughter, a wide smirk spread a crossed his face.

"What is so funny…?" I asked throw gritted teeth.

"What kind of man would I be if I let a girl propose to me?" He said, clearly amused. "I mean, I'd never hear the end of it from the guys, and epically Leah"

"So you do want to marry me?" I asked him, confusion in my voice. He crawled forward on the bed towards me, cupping my face with his hot hands and gently kissed my lips.

"Of course I want to marry you" he said against my lips. "But I am far too macho. You will just have to wait for me to ask you". I pulled back from him lips so I could see his face.

"Ok then, so ask me" I told him.

"Well now I can't"

"What? Why?" I almost laughed out of frustration.

"I can't ask you now, you're expecting it. It has to be a surprise and you need a ring"

"That's so stupid, I'm always expecting it, and besides you never had a ring before."

"I do have a ring" he said softly. "I just didn't want to show you until I was sure you would say yes."

I couldn't help but smile. And not that beautiful romance movie smile, the kind that slowly spreads a crossed a face, lifting the corners of a mouth, beautifully. No, not me. I grinned so big that my cheeks hurt.

"You look like a creeper" Jacob laughed. "Jeesh, don't act so surprised Nessie. I love you, remember?"

"I'm sorry, it's just that is really sweet."

"Yeah well, I am pretty perfect" Jacob joked, smoothing his eye brow with his finger. I pressed my hands to his face and showed him how happy I was, how much I loved him. When I was finished I pulled away slowly.

"You know, every time you do that, it feels like the first time" Jacob said, his eyes still closed.

"Come here" I told him and he crawled forward on the bed to meet me. Lowering us down until he was gently positioned on top of me. His strong arms bearing all his weight. He dipped his head down and kissed me. Softly at first, but I wanted more. I ran my tongue a crossed the outside of his lips, and he parted them from the contact. My tongue explored the inside of his mouth, until it was greeted by his own. We kissed deeply, not even parting to breath. I tangled my hands through his thick hair and moaned into his mouth. Finally we broke apart, panting. Jacobs's lips traveled to my neck, sucking softly at the soft skin, lightly nipping and he went. I pushed my body up towards his, my breasts pushed against his hard chest, our hips slowing starting to find a subtly rhythm against each others. Jacobs breathing grew harder and my heart began to race. That low ache of pressure began building in the deepest parts of my body. Building more and more with each kiss he pressed on my body. Through my haze of lust, I smelt a familiar smell. Sweet and metallic. Jacob hesitated; he must have smelt it too. Before my brain could process it Jacob jerked back, practically jumping off my body. The sheets of my bed were warm and wet.

"Holy shit Nessie, you're bleeding" Jacob shouted. I sat up and looked down. My yellow night shirt, the pale lilac sheet, all stained by a large growing puddle of crimson, my blood. Before Jacob could call for help, my father and Carlisle were bursting through the door with armfuls of medical supplies. And next thing I know I was going into convulsions.

I woke up sometime later. In a different room, fresh bandages, new cloths. Grandma Esme was reading in a blue velvet chair in the corner of the room.

"Grandma?"

"Oh honey, I'm glad you're up. You gave us quite a scare" she said, coming to my side to stroke my forehead with her icy fingers.

"What happened?" I asked, voice rough.

"The stitches ruptured and you lost a lot of blood." She told me. "Umm sweetheart…you're going to have to be a little more careful..."

I blushed; I'm sure by now everyone knows exactly what I was doing when the stitches ripped. Knowing Jacob, he probably felt awful….again.

"Where is Jacob? I need to talk to him." I asked.

"He left with the rest of the family." She said softly.

"What! Why didn't they wait until I was awake? I didn't even get to say goodbye. Oh my god, what is something happens to someone, it will be all my fault" I rambled, panicked.

"Shhh, its ok sweetheart" she tried to comfort me. "I'm afraid you are getting worse and we couldn't take any more chances, we have to get some sort of antidote. They left early last night, I'm sure they will be home soon. Your father called about an hour ago and said they found the sent trail Jacob left when he found you. Please don't worry, everyone will be fine and this whole thing will be over before you know it" she said with a worried smile on her beautiful face. The love of her life was out in those woods too, her entire reason for living out there in the darkness, looking for something unknown and dangerous. I never felt so close to her as I did now.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything. This story is just for

fun. I also don't own the song, though one day I will definitely marry Neil young.

Authors Note: So as you might of notices, the beginning of each chapter has a quote, usually song lyrics sometime poems. I spend forever looking for just the right words to go along with the chapter and usually I think they fit pretty will, so I hope you guys give them a little thought and even listen to the songs, because they are awesome. The song in this chapter is probably my favorite of all time. I listened to it over and over and over while writing this chapter. Any who, I have mostly healed from my horrific Halloween burns so I should be updating soon. I decided I want this stupid story to get happy dagnabit. So I shall resolve some of the old conflict. Hopefully it won't be abrupt. Btw, I have a terrible phobia of needles, like faint at the sight phobia, and this chapter was soooooo hard to write! Thanks you all for the reviews. Enjoy.

Chapter 19  
"Blue, blue windows behind the stars,  
Yellow moon on the rise,  
Big birds flying across the sky,  
Throwing shadows on our eyes.  
Leave us

Helpless, helpless, helpless"

-Helpless, Neil Young

I paced the floors. Not knowing what else to do with myself. The fear I felt literally turned my stomach. I haven't been able to keep anything down since before they all left. All I could think about was Jacob, out there fighting for me, yet again. I'm starting to feel that I'm not the best company to keep.

I wanted him home so bad. So bad that I ached. I wanted him to come home, to kiss me. I would telling him I love him, and marry him, and everything would be ok, but horrible feeling in my gut told me otherwise. Something was going to happen. I was sure of it.

I knew so little about the man in the woods. If he even is a man. I know he is strong. The chances of him being strong enough to defeat a horde of vampires and some werewolves was pretty slim, but still I was petrified. Everything I loved the most was out there facing the unknown for me, everything is always for me.

I turned to face my reflection in the glass window. I pouted at my own realization, about to embark down a road of self loathing when I was interrupted by a ghostly reflection, staring back at me.

"Are you hungry?" Esme asked me quietly.

"No, I'm fine thank you" I lied. I was starving, weak, and in pain, but none of that mattered.

"Well, we should get you back into be sweetheart, doctor's orders" she said, ushering be back into bed. Once I was tucked in, she laid down along side me and let out a deep breath.

"Aren't you scared Grandma?"  
She looked at me for a moment, then turned on her side to face me. Grabbing my hand with her stony fingers.

"Whatever it is, they will take care of it. I have faith." She told me, closing her eyes as if she was sleepy. We both stayed quiet for a moment until the pain took me back down again. Chewing me up and spitting me out. I withered on the bed, clawing at the sheets, ripping my nails through the expensive fabric. I felt Esme's cool hands pressed against my forehead comforting me. Vaguely in the distance I heard a phone ring, and my grandmother answer it.

"Edward! Is everything ok?" she answered the phone, not able to keep the panic from her voice. "Thank goodness, please hurry, she is getting worse" she finished before returning to my side. Her cool touch dulling the pain slightly. Just enough relief for me to fall asleep.

I was dreaming I was in the ocean. But not frigid shoreline I was used to. This ocean was warm and deep. So very warm as it engulfed my tired body. The waves lapping against me. Rocking me back in forth, nothing but serenity and warmth. And then my dream slowly disappeared, fading away from the edges, pulling me gently back into reality. The warmth stayed and I knew it could only be one thing.

I opened my eyes to find myself in Jacobs's warm arms, and he rocked me back and forth. The chatter of voices and footsteps were distant throughout the house.

"Before you ask, I'm fine, were all fine" he said pressing his lips against my head. "Edward and Doc are mixing up the antidote as we speak"

"Is it dead?" I asked. Please let it be dead.

"That thing will never hurt you again, I promise"

So I take that as a no. I felt the fear seeping in, why didn't they kill it?

"I-I don't understand" I said, my voice rising with panic.

"We will talk about it later. Just rest now, this will all be over soon". He told me, smoothing my hair with his hot hands.

Just before I could argue, my father came in, holding a syringe that I knew held the hopeful solution.

"We need to hook you up to some monitors before we give you this ok?" he said softly. I nodded as my grandfather came in, pushing massive machines, hooking me up to heart and vital monitors.

The burn in my body was increasing steadily, I prayed to whoever would listen that this would make the pain go away.

I closed my eyes tightly as the needle approached. I had always hated needles and shots, because of my hard skin, the needles always had to be big enough to be used on livestock. I tensed as Carlisle swabbed my arm with an alcohol whip. Jacob held my hand. I closed my eyes and could feel the presence of the rest of my family crowing around in dreadful anticipation.

The sting of the needle was nothing compared to the burning, aching pain of my body. Everyone held their breath and the plunger on the syringe was gently pushed down. It was all I could do to keep my body from shaking. And then I felt something that made me want to cry. I could feel the coolness of the antidote slowing moving through my veins, with every pump of my heart it flowed deeper into my body, cooling and melting. I let out a breath, a beautiful release and the tension from the room melted away.

"Oh thank god" my mother said, clutching my father's hand. After about 10 minutes my grandfather ushered everyone out, everyone but Alice who quietly came to my side, pulling up the chair Jacobs had sat in and perching her small body cross-legged.

"That thing….I-I" she trailed off. I waited for her to speak again.

"I have never seen anything like it, nobody has….some kind of monster" she muttered, almost to herself.

"Why didn't you kill it?" I asked. "What happened?"

"We wanted to, trust me, we all did. Especially Jacob. The thing it, we couldn't, we needed to find out more about it. What it is, why it took you, what it does. We have to figure out those things before we could kill it to make sure this will never happen again" she said with certainty. I understood.

"Where is it now?" I asked.

"Far away, where it can't hurt you. That thing is never going to get out, and as soon as we have what we need, we will deal with it." she said.

We talked for a while, just like we always used to. I felt such relief I could hardly stand it. Carlisle came in after a bit to check the wound on my side, and sure enough, it was healing. Finally things were returning back to normal. I pressed my hand to Alice's cheek and showered her how I felt. I could play video games with Emmett, and go hiking with Jasper, I could go back to high school, or go to the movies. I could finally get back to what little normality my life had to offer. And I knew exactly where I wanted to start. It involved a certain native. Immediately I pulled back my hand, blushing so hard I thought I was on fire.. She laughed, really laughed.

"On that note, I think I'll let you go to bed, or take a nice cold shower"


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything. This story is just for

fun.

Authors Note: Happy Thanksgiving! (Yes I know it's the day before but I will be to busy complaining about how full I am to submit this tomorrow.) Sadly, because I'm Native American, my disgruntled ingun grandfather likes to complain all day about the raping and pillage of our lands, but hopefully this year he will just shut up and eat some turkey. Sorry it takes me forever to update, finals at school are killing me. Anyway, thank you all soooo much for all the reviews, it's always nice to see familiar readers but recently new people have really been enjoying the story and it's totally awesome. So thanks again, you guys are the best. Also I know there was a lot of grammer or smelling mistakes in the last chapter and I apologize for that. I was just too lazy to proof read and really wanted to submit it and I will make sure it won't happen again. In this chapter I really wanted to get into some of the different relationships in Neisse's life and really get a look into her head. I really loved writing this chapter and I hope you guys like it too. Please review; I'll mail you some awesome turkey, maybe even throw in some mashed taters. And btw, this song totally go prefect with this chapter so listen to it why you read it!

Chapter 20

"I seem to recognize your face  
haunting, familiar, yet I can't seem to place it  
cannot find the candle of thought to light your name  
lifetimes are catching up with me  
all these changes taking place, I wish I'd seen the place  
but no one's ever taken me  
hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away...  
hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away..."

-Elderly Woman behind the Counter in a Small Town, Pearl Jam

(I know, that name is ridiculously long)

I opened my eyes, slightly confused as to where I was. Oh right, Jacob plus unsupervised teenage hormones equals ripped stitches and a ruined bed. Yep that pretty much explain why I am lying here in the guest room. I stretched and pulled the covers down from my body. Something was different about this morning. I didn't wake up in pain. No terrible tension in my bones and burning under my skin. But that wasn't it. It was something else. Perhaps this is the first morning I actually didn't dread. No over whelming sense of doom because I must leave my warm bed. This morning was so different and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.

I got up out of the plush bed and padded in my bear feet out of the room and towards the stairs, only to be intercepted by my father.

"Oh good, you're up" he said, pressing his cool hands to my forehead as if to check for a temperature.

"I'm fine dad, really. I feel so much better" I told him, pressing my hand to his cheek to show him how I felt.

"Are you hungry? I can make you some breakfast" he asked me, and before I could open my mouth, my stomach was growling in response.

"I'll take that as a yes" he laughed.

I followed him down to the kitchen and perched myself on a bar stool as he assembled the things needed for pancakes. Lemon, sugar pancakes, my favorite.

"Where is everyone?" I asked him. His face tightened, muscles tensing.

"Carlisle is at work, Esme, Rose and you're mother are hunting. The rest had some things they must tend to" he said tightly. I knew where they were. Wherever that terrible thing was. I took a deep breath, trying to push those thoughts from my brain. I looked at my father and saw his unease.

"So what are you doing today dad?" I asked to ease the tension. "What day is it anyway" I added, scratching my head.

He laughed softly. "It's Saturday sweetheart, and I'm not sure exactly. Maybe catch up on some reading"

"Oh ok. Umm maybe we can do something together?" I said awkwardly.

He stopped stirring the batter and looked over at me, his eyes so warm. "Of course, that sounds very nice, I don't remember the last time we spent some quality together." Suddenly I felt guilty. I have been feeling a lot of that lately. He was right though, I honestly couldn't remember the last time we did anything with just the two of us.

"What would you like to do?" he asked, flipping the pancakes into the air, just like he did when I was a little girl.

"Oh, anything I suppose." I said, trying to think. "Well, maybe we could go fishing.." I suggested shyly.

"Fishing? I didn't know you liked to fish" he said, the humor in his voice.

"I do. Jacob used to try to take me when I was little. But he said I talked too much and scared all the fish away"

"Ah yes, I remember now." He laughed. "Fishing sounds fine, but I warn you that my skills may not be very adequate. It has been at least 20 years since I have last fished."

"That long?" I asked, awestruck. Time spans of 20 years were spoken as if they were mere minutes in this house.

"Yes that long." He said, handing me a plate full of pancakes.

"Dad these are delicious" I said through mouth full's.

"I'm glad you like them. Now you finish eating while I get things ready" he said before disappearing. I really was excited to spend some time with my dad, but I couldn't help but let my thoughts wonder to a certain copper skinned boy.

About an hour later I on a grassy bank overlooking a small pond that until now, I didn't know existed. It was truly beautiful. The soft grasses seem to sway endlessly as the mixed with the pale pastels of early spring flowers. Few patched of white snow melted slowly along the bases of strong pine. Other trees stood bare except for the red buds forming on the tips. I knew not to get too excited to spring, after all this Alaska. Home to freak snow storms in May, but a girl can wish. I looked over at my father who closely watched his line.

"Anything yet?" I asked him.

"Not yet" he said. His voice filled with total contentment.

I reeled in my line for about the hundredth time that minute. That is basically how I fished. Cast, wait a few seconds, get bored, reel it in. Repeat about a million times before someone (Usually Jacob) tells me to knock it off and be patient. People always said I was too impatient for fishing, thats why I never caught anything. It didn't matter. I loved it anyway. Once Billy had suggested that Jacob should teach me to fly fish, seeing as how I could never just leave my line alone. It went pretty well until I whipped the pole with all my child might, sending the hook right into Jacob's back. Suddenly Jacob didn't like fishing anymore. I laughed to myself, remembering all the things we used to do when I was a little girl. More like the things I like to ruin. Like the time Jacob built me a tree house. I climbed up to the top only to realize I'm terrified of heights. I was so scared to climb down that I locked the door of the hatch in the floor and they literately had to cut me out of the tree because I held onto the trunk so tightly. I also remembered the time I cut all the hair of my expensive French dolls Rosalie had gotten me, and the colossal fit she through after she saw what I did. My favorite would have to be the time Jacob decided that I learn how to change the oil on a car. It was right before I turned 16 in human years and Jacob ranted on how if I was going to be a responsible driver than I better learn how to care for a car. I was so mad at him for dragging me out of bed so early on a Sunday morning just to watch him fight to open the hood on an old car he was restoring. "Jacob, this is sooo boring. Can we please do something else?" I whined. "Just. Needs. Some. Oil" he said through gritted teeth as he pulled on the old hinges of the hood. Suddenly the bolts let go and Jacob's body flew back, only to land in a pan of used motor oil. I laughed so hard that I cried, that was until he came towards me, pulling me into an oily embrace and ruining my absolutely favorite shirt.

It's funny how much things change. When I was young, the only thing I ever wanted was to be a ballerina, and to possess the ability to fly. When I was 16, a shirt was probably the most important thing in my life. Now here I am, a month away from my 18th birthday and I feel like a completely different person.

I thought of how the people in my life changed too. Emily and Sam are now parents, Grandpa Charlie spends his days retired, playing golf, my best friend in the world is now the love of my life. I remembered the first time we kissed. We were on his bed back on LaPlush, playing Left for Dead on his 13 inch TV. He was losing badly, as he always did. Suddenly as a ploy to distract me from yet another victory he pulled me back on the bed into a childish tickly fight. One thing led to another until we found out faces inches apart. Then I leaned up and kissed him. I was so mortified at what I had done I ran home and hysterically tried to convince my family to move to Siberia. A few days later Jacob told me everything and it's like all the pieces just fell together.

Things really do change, expect for my family. They remain constant. Never changing, never fading.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the slapping sound of the water.

"Nessie come here" my father called as he reeled in a large fish.

"Oh my god, it's huge" I laughed and he examined it.

"Well what should we do with it" He asked me.

I thought for a moment, about how much Jacob loved to eat fresh trout, about what a small place in the world this fish had. That there were probably twenty more just like him in this small pond. That one less fish surely would not alter this beautiful place. How simple some things come and go from this earth.

"Put it back" I said finally.

And so we did.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer- I take no credit for any characters. I do not own anything. This story is just for

fun.

Author's Note: I HATE THE WAY FANFICTION SPACES THINGSSS. It doesn't indent where I want and indent or enter when I want it to enter. When I write in the word document everything is like 7 pages and I feel so accomplished, then I upload it and I'm like wow that is short. Hopefully this one will be a little longer.

Oh and dear phantom reviewers. I know you're out there. I see you add my story to your favorites, and subscribe to story alerts, but yet you do not review. It's ok, I don't bite, pretty please review. Not only do they make me feel good, but they also hang out in my inbox and remind me to update chapters. Any ways, please enjoy this chapter. It has some nice Nessie/Jake moments.

Chapter 21

"My red is so confident he flashes trophies of war  
And ribbons of euphoria  
Orange is young full of daring  
But very unsteady for the first go 'round

My yellow in this case is not so mellow

In Fact I'm trying to say it's frightened like me

And all these emotions of mine keep holding me from

Giving my life to a rainbow like you

But I'm uh yeah I'm bold as love

-Bold As Love, Jimi Hendrix.

On the ride home with my father, we laughed and joked the whole time. He drove slower, I guess to make the trip last longer. Either way it was nice.

"Umm dad, I think you just drove past our drive way" I told him.

"That's because I'm not taking you home" he replied.

"Oh…Well then where are you taking me?" I asked wearily.

"Your mother thought you might like to spend the night at Jacob's house. You have been cooped up at home a lot the last couple weeks." He said, though I know he disapproved. I didn't reply, I just nodded. The tone had changed just then and I'm starting to realize a real tension between my father and myself when it comes to Jacob. We drove for a few moments longer until pulling up to Jacob's cabin.

"Jacob should be home any minuet, do you want me to wait with you?" He asked.

"Oh, no, that's ok. I'm sure mom is waiting for you at home" I said. He nodded and put the car in park. Before I got out of the car I leaned a crossed the seats and pressed kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you so much for today dad, it was really fun."

"Your welcome, I had fun too." He said.

I turned around to wave goodbye as he pulled away then returned to fumbling with my key chain. Why must I always forget what key opens what. Finally after about five minutes standing at Jacobs's front porch, my trial and error method worked and I opened the door.

Chills ran up my spine as I looked around. The place looked totally untouched. It was exactly the same from the last time I was here, the day I was taken. Jacob's cloths still unfolded in the laundry basket. The counter still full of food and seasonings I was using to make dinner. Had he not been home once since I was gone? Silently I walked around and cleaned up. Throwing away all the spoiled food that was left out and picking up. Just as I was folding a throw blanket, I head Jacob come in. He was filthy, totally covered in mud.

"Bikini mud wrestling again I see" I laughed.

"Yeah yeah, laugh it up." He said before shaking like a dog, splattering mud everywhere.

"What are you doing, I just cleaned! God you're such a dog!" I shrieked.

He laughed hard, and I knew what was coming. I saw the look in his eye as he cross the room in two giant steps. I tried to get away, but failed. He grabbed me with his giant arms and pulled me into a bear hug. I laughed and squirmed against him as he pulled us down to the floor. First came the tickling. I hate being tickled. There is nothing more infuriating that telling someone "Stop it, I'm serious" while you gasp for breath and laugh hysterically. I begged him between breaths to stop but he kept going, knowing exactly where all my most ticklish spots are. I was pinned under his big body with nowhere to go and considering the state I was in, there was no reasoning. So I screamed as loud as I possibly could. He covered his ears quickly before cupping his hand over my mouth to muffle my screams.

"Okay, okay I fold" he said. "Now I'm going to move my hand but you have to promise not to scream" he teased.

I nodded vigorously. He let me up and sat back on his heels, poking at his ear.

"Man, I think you ruptured my ear drum, you're such a girl" he said.

"You're such a brute"

I was still lying on the floor panting. When I sat up he was staring at me, still sitting back on his heels.

"Wow, I didn't mean to get you that dirty, I'm sorry" he chuckled.

I crawled forward towards him and kissed him hard, pushing him down to the floor so that I was straddling his hips. He kissed me back, moving his hands up and down my sides. I broke away from his mouth and kissed my way down his neck, my nails tightening their grip around his shoulders, distracting him while I took my revenge. I rocked my body against him, pulling his mind farther away while I tangled one of my hands in his hair, and snuck the other hand right below his ribs. A spot that I knew would leave him as helpless as he left me. He tried to seize my hand but it was too late. Oh sweet revenge. I took full advantage of him in his weakened state and tickled him until he too was gasping for breath.

Finally I retreated and collapsed down on his body. His chest rose and fell furiously as he caught his breath.

"Not very nice now is it?" I asked him.

"Well played women, well played" he sprawling out on the floor.

We lay like that for a minute, still breathless from our childish war.

"Well, I suppose we should clean ourselves up" he said.

"I agree" I said, rolling off him to get up. As soon as I was on my feet, he was picking me up and carrying me down the hall.

"Jacob, what are you doing" I asked cautiously.

"I'm cleaning us up" he said, turning the corner and heading into the bathroom. He set me down in front of the tub and pulled open the shower curtain. My heart beat quicken as he stretched forward and turned on the water.

"Jacob-I" I didn't know what to say. I just watched him as he filled the bath tub.

"What makes bubbles?" he asked abruptly.

"Umm, shampoo maybe" I told him. He grabbed a bottle of the shelf and poured in the water and let the water fill.

He walked towards me, cupping my face in his huge hands. He leaned down and kissed me. I closed my eyes and tilted my head up. I felt his hot fingers fumble with bottom of my sweater before sliding it up over my body. I lifted my arms straight over my head as he pulled the sweater the rest of the way off and discarded it on the floor. He leaned down and pressed his lips to my neck, kissing my skin gently. I was dizzy, the heat of Jacob's body, the steam of the hot water, the tiny panic in the back of my mind about what could possibly be happening right now.. My heart beating way to fast, it all made me sway. My legs went weak from under me and Jacob caught me before I fell.

"Nessie, are you ok?" he asked urgently while pulling me back to my feet.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I just got a little dizzy. I must not have all my strength back yet" I told him.

"It's my fault, I pushing you to hard' Jacob said, I could hear the guilt in his voice.

"No it's not you, it's just…" he wasn't listening. He had gone off to worried Jacob land. I grabbed his hand to make him look at me.

"What are we doing Jacob?" I asked him.

He let out a long breath.

"I don't know Nessie" he said, rubbing his hand back and forth through his hair.

"I want to wait" I said out of nowhere, surprising even myself. Thanks brain for letting me in on this little decision.

"You do?" he asked me.

"Yeah, I don't know. It's just…don't you think we should?"

"You know what I think" he said. "What changed your mind?"

"I guess I really do want to marry you"

"Well, gee thanks" he laughed. I don't know what changed my mind really. Maybe my brain finally lost the battle with my teenage hormones. Something just seemed right about marrying Jacob first. Maybe it's just because I know how important it is to him. Oh god, now I'm turning into my mother.

"Well were still covered in shit" he said.

"Jacob don't you dare" I said. Once again, he didn't listen and pulled both of us into the tub, clothes and all. Water gushed out, soaking the floor. Bubble over flowed from every direction.

"Ugghh Jacob, do you have any idea how much this is going to suck to clean up?"

"Shh, I'm soaking" he said, leaning back, putting his arms behind his head.

I threw a wash cloth at him, which in turn was a terrible idea. We spent the next hour in a full on tickle war. I'm surprised we didn't drown.


End file.
